I should preface this with an acknowledgement that, while, yes, we are bored, we are also so, so lucky: both the adults in our household are getting paid; we live in a very rural area and can go hiking as much as we want; our yard is almost an acre and features a stream; we've (probably) all had covid-19 already and are okay; and the kids actually play with each other.
Nonetheless! I am permanently pissed off that our terrible government response has defaulted to 'let's quarantine everyone and then have Lots of Bad Ideas' combined with "It's totally practical to test-trace-isolate something that started community spread almost three months ago even though our testing system is in shambles and we would need a bare minimum of 100,000 tracers and also tracing is useless with this much community spread".
So I've been baking!
Previously featured:
Pumpkin pie bars
Coconut macaroons
Chocolate torte
Since then:
King Arthur Gingerbread Bundt Cake. (I make all these with a GF flour mix which I concoct, but without the tapioca, since I'm allergic.) Friends, I was out of both molasses and cinnamon, so I made this as a kind of spice cake with raisins, candied orange peel, fennel, and cardamom. I thought it was delicious but my spouse refused to eat it. 10/10, would bake again.
King Arthur GF Cinnamon Rolls. These were so good that I made them twice, though the second time I tried to cut back on the sugar and they were less delicious, so I fed them to the kids for breakfast.
King Arthur Carrot Cake. (look, I'm very suggestible!) Made it for Pesach in a giant sheet pan. It was delicious even with pear butter swapped in for a lot of the oil.
David Leibovitz's Mint Chip Ice Cream. Made two batches, one with half and half, and one with coconut milk. (I grow mint and also it grows wild by the creek; you need a giant amount for this). Delicious, with a delicate mint flavor. Halved the sugar and added a little cornstarch.
Banana Cream Pie... Jello Mold. Kind of like this recipe, only with Greek yogurt and without following it in any conceivable way. Also, featuring half and half, since I forgot that a half-gallon is eight cups. Very popular with the family; the latest features a chocolate stripe in the middle.
Jello Roll-Ups, by request from the kids. You would think a recipe involving only boxed goods would be impossible to screw up, and yet, you would be wrong. It was strange. The kids ate it anyways.
Fish Quiche. Don't. Just don't.
Turkey sausage, riced cauliflower, and potato quiche. Tasty! Would have been less work if I just scrambled it all together.
That's all for this installment of Stuff I Baked While Bored! Tune in next time for whatever random things I've cooked while everyone else played D&D!
Showing posts with label Cooking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cooking. Show all posts
Sunday, April 26, 2020
Monday, November 18, 2013
A (Mostly Cheap) Brownie For All Allergies
(Adapted from Smitten Kitchen's recipe)
Dear Readers, do you know how I feel about insult (can't eat anything) being added to injury (dairy allergy)? I feel frickin' ticked off. However, these brownies help. You can make them gluten-free. You can make them dairyless. You could even make them vegan, though I haven't tried that yet, so caveat comestor. You can also make them from normal things that normal people have around the house, or at least from stuff you can buy at Walmart* with a minimum of inconvenience.
Cocoa Brownies
10 T probably-not-butter
(options: Crisco**; coconut oil, either refined, mysteriously de-coconut-flavored, or not refined, it's all the same; palm shortening, sold as Spectrum vegetable shortening, or whatever You can use oil if you have to but it tends to separate out.)
1/2 c sugar
2 T molasses
A little less than a cup of cocoa powder.
(Look, I use the Toll House brand because that's what I can buy. They taste fine. Would fancy expensive cocoa powder taste better? Probably, but...)
1/4 t salt
1/2 t vanilla extract (you can use vanilla bean past if these need to be alcohol-free for a Muslim pal)
2 large eggs (or 1/2 c hot water + 1 T ground flaxseed, or EnerG)
1/2 c flour-like substance.
(Half food-processored-oatmeal and half cornstarch; some corn flour and rice flour and cornstarch; tapioca and rice flours if you can eat those; whatever.)
Optional: 1/2 (?) c chocolate chips.
(Ghirardelli semi-sweet contain no dairy AND taste good, though not as good as the bittersweet ones which do contain milk fat, and though they have the standard 'made in a facility that processes dairy', I am super-extra-allergic to dairy and the semisweet ones are fine for me. YMMV.)
Preferably in a bowl over simmering water/ a double boiler, melt the shortening with the sugar, molasses, cocoa powder, and salt. Or you can microwave it if you have to. Beat in the eggs for about 30 seconds; it should get kind of thick. Add the vanilla extract, flour, and chocolate chips. Mix very well. Put 12 muffin papers in a muffin tin and divide the batter into 12 brownie-cupcakes. Bake at 325 F for 20-30 minutes or until you feel like they are done enough to eat. If you are using coconut oil it may bubble up around the batter in a disturbing fashion. Do not be alarmed! It will all soak back in once you take them out of the oven.
(Not recommended: All in one pan.)
* The main grocery store in these parts. I live in the hills, y'all.
** Yes, I know that Trans Fats Will Kill You; I can't eat it anyways, and it's not like one should make this every day. Trying to make this easy here.
Dear Readers, do you know how I feel about insult (can't eat anything) being added to injury (dairy allergy)? I feel frickin' ticked off. However, these brownies help. You can make them gluten-free. You can make them dairyless. You could even make them vegan, though I haven't tried that yet, so caveat comestor. You can also make them from normal things that normal people have around the house, or at least from stuff you can buy at Walmart* with a minimum of inconvenience.
Cocoa Brownies
10 T probably-not-butter
(options: Crisco**; coconut oil, either refined, mysteriously de-coconut-flavored, or not refined, it's all the same; palm shortening, sold as Spectrum vegetable shortening, or whatever You can use oil if you have to but it tends to separate out.)
1/2 c sugar
2 T molasses
A little less than a cup of cocoa powder.
(Look, I use the Toll House brand because that's what I can buy. They taste fine. Would fancy expensive cocoa powder taste better? Probably, but...)
1/4 t salt
1/2 t vanilla extract (you can use vanilla bean past if these need to be alcohol-free for a Muslim pal)
2 large eggs (or 1/2 c hot water + 1 T ground flaxseed, or EnerG)
1/2 c flour-like substance.
(Half food-processored-oatmeal and half cornstarch; some corn flour and rice flour and cornstarch; tapioca and rice flours if you can eat those; whatever.)
Optional: 1/2 (?) c chocolate chips.
(Ghirardelli semi-sweet contain no dairy AND taste good, though not as good as the bittersweet ones which do contain milk fat, and though they have the standard 'made in a facility that processes dairy', I am super-extra-allergic to dairy and the semisweet ones are fine for me. YMMV.)
Preferably in a bowl over simmering water/ a double boiler, melt the shortening with the sugar, molasses, cocoa powder, and salt. Or you can microwave it if you have to. Beat in the eggs for about 30 seconds; it should get kind of thick. Add the vanilla extract, flour, and chocolate chips. Mix very well. Put 12 muffin papers in a muffin tin and divide the batter into 12 brownie-cupcakes. Bake at 325 F for 20-30 minutes or until you feel like they are done enough to eat. If you are using coconut oil it may bubble up around the batter in a disturbing fashion. Do not be alarmed! It will all soak back in once you take them out of the oven.
(Not recommended: All in one pan.)
* The main grocery store in these parts. I live in the hills, y'all.
** Yes, I know that Trans Fats Will Kill You; I can't eat it anyways, and it's not like one should make this every day. Trying to make this easy here.
Sunday, September 01, 2013
Canning: Actually Canning Stuff (Part 2)
Once again, if you want faultless, extra-safe directions, do not listen to me. Go listen to the nice folks at NCHFP. Thank you, your public service announcement is now over.
Okay. You've made your applesauce or jam or whatever. (Note from sad experience: If you're canning fruit, simmer it briefly in its syrup or juice, strain it out with a slotted spoon and pack tightly into jars, then cover with syrup. You'll be much happier, trust me.) It's still VERY HOT. (If it is not very hot, bring it back to a boil.)
***
Ideally, do this before you boil your stuff-to-be-packed:
Take your giant pot and fill it about 1/3 full of hot water. Set it on high while you do all the rest of this stuff. If you're sterilizing jars, take a smaller pot (big enough to dip your glass jars in), bring water to a rolling boil, and dip all your jars very carefully so that the insides get coated in boiling water and you do not get burned. Set them upside down on a clean dishtowel on top of something heatproof (those tiles are useful here).
For jam, you want to actually sterilize your jars, because boiling pectin too long can make it hydrolyze. If I'm canning anything with a 15 minute+ processing time, including applesauce and tomato sauce, I don't bother. Your jars need to be clean.
It's a nice idea to put all your jar lids and rings in a strainer and dip them in boiling water for a minute or five. If you're doing jam and have bothered to sterilize your jars, then yes, boil your jar lids and rings. Otherwise, whatever.
***
Hot pack your stuff into jars.* That is: Pour your really hot whatever into your nice clean jars, using your handy canning funnel. Leave AT LEAST A HALF INCH AT THE TOP- maybe more- not above the jar's rim in any case. Otherwise the contents will bubble up and get everything sticky.
Wipe the rims with a clean, damp cloth. Put on a clean, new lid and a ring. Screw it on as tightly as possible.
By now your water in your giant pot is hopefully heading for boiling. For jam, wait until it is at a rolling boil. For everything else, go ahead and put it in. The water needs to be at least a half-inch over the tops of the jars. If it's not, add more boiling water (a teakettle is helpful here).
When your water is at a rolling boil again - it usually takes a few minutes- start timing it. Look up your processing time at the NCHFP. Jams in sterilized jars need five minutes processing; in non-sterilized, ten. Applesauce is generally 20 minutes for quarts (15 for pints). Add a minute per 1000 feet above sea level. (You can turn the stove down a few notches as long as it keeps boiling.)
Take your jars out one at a time, with your jar tongs, and put them on your dishtowel on a heatproof surface, lid side up (never turn upside down). As they cool, the lids should pop inwards. Check them all 3 hours later (or in the morning) and, if it's still hot, put unsealed jars in the refrigerator. If it's the next morning, throw it away. (I almost never have jars that don't seal).
Store canned goods in a dark place; they really will photo-oxidize otherwise. This isn't dangerous, but it affects color and flavor. Refrigerate after opening. Most things keep at least two years (Official Sources usually say one year, but I eat them for 2 or 3), or longer, but the flavor usually goes downhill after two years.
Happy canning!
*Sole exception: fermented pickles. If you're canning fermented pickles, you probably do not need to be reading my blog post.
Okay. You've made your applesauce or jam or whatever. (Note from sad experience: If you're canning fruit, simmer it briefly in its syrup or juice, strain it out with a slotted spoon and pack tightly into jars, then cover with syrup. You'll be much happier, trust me.) It's still VERY HOT. (If it is not very hot, bring it back to a boil.)
***
Ideally, do this before you boil your stuff-to-be-packed:
Take your giant pot and fill it about 1/3 full of hot water. Set it on high while you do all the rest of this stuff. If you're sterilizing jars, take a smaller pot (big enough to dip your glass jars in), bring water to a rolling boil, and dip all your jars very carefully so that the insides get coated in boiling water and you do not get burned. Set them upside down on a clean dishtowel on top of something heatproof (those tiles are useful here).
For jam, you want to actually sterilize your jars, because boiling pectin too long can make it hydrolyze. If I'm canning anything with a 15 minute+ processing time, including applesauce and tomato sauce, I don't bother. Your jars need to be clean.
It's a nice idea to put all your jar lids and rings in a strainer and dip them in boiling water for a minute or five. If you're doing jam and have bothered to sterilize your jars, then yes, boil your jar lids and rings. Otherwise, whatever.
***
Hot pack your stuff into jars.* That is: Pour your really hot whatever into your nice clean jars, using your handy canning funnel. Leave AT LEAST A HALF INCH AT THE TOP- maybe more- not above the jar's rim in any case. Otherwise the contents will bubble up and get everything sticky.
Wipe the rims with a clean, damp cloth. Put on a clean, new lid and a ring. Screw it on as tightly as possible.
By now your water in your giant pot is hopefully heading for boiling. For jam, wait until it is at a rolling boil. For everything else, go ahead and put it in. The water needs to be at least a half-inch over the tops of the jars. If it's not, add more boiling water (a teakettle is helpful here).
When your water is at a rolling boil again - it usually takes a few minutes- start timing it. Look up your processing time at the NCHFP. Jams in sterilized jars need five minutes processing; in non-sterilized, ten. Applesauce is generally 20 minutes for quarts (15 for pints). Add a minute per 1000 feet above sea level. (You can turn the stove down a few notches as long as it keeps boiling.)
Take your jars out one at a time, with your jar tongs, and put them on your dishtowel on a heatproof surface, lid side up (never turn upside down). As they cool, the lids should pop inwards. Check them all 3 hours later (or in the morning) and, if it's still hot, put unsealed jars in the refrigerator. If it's the next morning, throw it away. (I almost never have jars that don't seal).
Store canned goods in a dark place; they really will photo-oxidize otherwise. This isn't dangerous, but it affects color and flavor. Refrigerate after opening. Most things keep at least two years (Official Sources usually say one year, but I eat them for 2 or 3), or longer, but the flavor usually goes downhill after two years.
Happy canning!
*Sole exception: fermented pickles. If you're canning fermented pickles, you probably do not need to be reading my blog post.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Canning: A Relatively Brief And Somewhat Vague Tutorial, By Request (Part 1)
If you want a really good, detailed, relatively brief tutorial, see here (pdf). The National Center for Home Food Preservation is where I always look up processing times (how long am I supposed to boil this, again?)
But, by request, here's my summary of How I Can Stuff, By J.F., Age 32.
(If you're wondering how I make applesauce, I bake and/or boil-on-stovetop whole apples with about a quarter-inch of water, until they explode, and then run them through a vertical food mill (this is the one I use; it's perfectly adequate and also inexpensive), season as desired, and process. PRO TIP! Run cooked apples through a food mill while steaming hot - you'll get much better yields, and won't ever have to run it through twice.
Things you really truly need to do canning:*
Heatproof glass jars, sold as Mason/ Bell jars in the US. (These can often be found at Goodwill-type stores and garage sales. Check the rim for chips. They're fine to re-use as long as the rim is intact.) Various Official Sources say to never re-use commercial mayo/whatever jars, even if your Ball lids and rings fit, but I've not yet had one explode.
As many rings as you have jars.
As many CLEAN AND UNUSED lids as you have jars. Never, never re-use lids, please! They're 20 cents each! Trust me, getting botulism is not worth even many, many packets of new lids.**
A jar tongs. No, really, you need this. Trust me. Regular tongs will leave you with scald marks, and also broken glass with jam in all over your kitchen floor.
A really big pot. The rack is optional, but nice, to prevent stuff from banging around. If you don't have one, put a ratty kitchen towel in the bottom. You need at LEAST two inches in your pot above the top of your tallest jar. (That is, the pot should be tall enough that jar + 1/2 inch to 1 inch water on top does not lead to hot water boiling over everywhere.) Seriously, put the jar in to check, or you'll regret it later. Please don't pay more than $20 for this item, because both Amazon and Walmart have them for $20.
Some clean dish towels.
A heatproof surface to put all your really hot canned stuff on (the cheapest of 18 x 18 tiles from your local hardware store work great).
A time-keeping device of any kind.
(If you are in the mountains, a knowledge of your altitude. Add one minute processing time per 1000 feet above sea level.)
If you're doing more than a few jars, a canning funnel of some kind. They're like $1.50 and will save you an hour per batch in wiping sugary goo off every surface in your kitchen. Really.
Things that are nice:
A strainer (the mesh kind with a wooden handle)
A regular tongs of some kind
A fan to blow on you while you're in a hot steamy kitchen
A butterknife, if you have the patience to de-air-bubble your canning stuff.
Things that are completely unnecessary:
A lid lifter.
A bubble freer.
Next: How To Actually Can Stuff
*These are not affilitate links. Amazon is merely convenient. Walmart also stocks all these things (at least around here).
** Our last ER trip (not for botulism, but still) cost $289.50. This is 115 packets of jar lids.
But, by request, here's my summary of How I Can Stuff, By J.F., Age 32.
(If you're wondering how I make applesauce, I bake and/or boil-on-stovetop whole apples with about a quarter-inch of water, until they explode, and then run them through a vertical food mill (this is the one I use; it's perfectly adequate and also inexpensive), season as desired, and process. PRO TIP! Run cooked apples through a food mill while steaming hot - you'll get much better yields, and won't ever have to run it through twice.
Things you really truly need to do canning:*
Heatproof glass jars, sold as Mason/ Bell jars in the US. (These can often be found at Goodwill-type stores and garage sales. Check the rim for chips. They're fine to re-use as long as the rim is intact.) Various Official Sources say to never re-use commercial mayo/whatever jars, even if your Ball lids and rings fit, but I've not yet had one explode.
As many rings as you have jars.
As many CLEAN AND UNUSED lids as you have jars. Never, never re-use lids, please! They're 20 cents each! Trust me, getting botulism is not worth even many, many packets of new lids.**
A jar tongs. No, really, you need this. Trust me. Regular tongs will leave you with scald marks, and also broken glass with jam in all over your kitchen floor.
A really big pot. The rack is optional, but nice, to prevent stuff from banging around. If you don't have one, put a ratty kitchen towel in the bottom. You need at LEAST two inches in your pot above the top of your tallest jar. (That is, the pot should be tall enough that jar + 1/2 inch to 1 inch water on top does not lead to hot water boiling over everywhere.) Seriously, put the jar in to check, or you'll regret it later. Please don't pay more than $20 for this item, because both Amazon and Walmart have them for $20.
Some clean dish towels.
A heatproof surface to put all your really hot canned stuff on (the cheapest of 18 x 18 tiles from your local hardware store work great).
A time-keeping device of any kind.
(If you are in the mountains, a knowledge of your altitude. Add one minute processing time per 1000 feet above sea level.)
If you're doing more than a few jars, a canning funnel of some kind. They're like $1.50 and will save you an hour per batch in wiping sugary goo off every surface in your kitchen. Really.
Things that are nice:
A strainer (the mesh kind with a wooden handle)
A regular tongs of some kind
A fan to blow on you while you're in a hot steamy kitchen
A butterknife, if you have the patience to de-air-bubble your canning stuff.
Things that are completely unnecessary:
A lid lifter.
A bubble freer.
Next: How To Actually Can Stuff
*These are not affilitate links. Amazon is merely convenient. Walmart also stocks all these things (at least around here).
** Our last ER trip (not for botulism, but still) cost $289.50. This is 115 packets of jar lids.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Sublimated Anxiety
Dr. S, looking into the Jam Cupboard: "Oh. My. God. I had no idea."
Me: "I told you I was taking out my anxiety on canning things."
(I know it doesn't look like that much, but we've only been here eight seven weeks.)
Dr. S: "What other seasons are left around here? Apple, pear..."
Me: "AUTUMN OLIVE!!!"
Dr. S: ".... you're pretty anxious."
Me: "Plus. Free. I may have gone a little overboard with the apples though."
Dr. S: "There's no a little overboard. Once you're gone, you're gone."
Me: "I told you I was taking out my anxiety on canning things."
 |
| Figure 1: The things I have canned so far this year. Not pictured: About two gallons of stuff I gave away. Also not pictured: the 19 quarts of green beans in my freezer. L to R: Tatoe's feet, raspberry jam, white peach jam, canned white peaches, canned yellow peaches, pickles, tomato sauce, grape jam. Things I paid for: yellow peaches, sugar, pectin. |
 |
| Figure 2: The pickles currently fermenting. Yes, that is a picnic cooler .  |
Me: "AUTUMN OLIVE!!!"
Dr. S: ".... you're pretty anxious."
Me: "Plus. Free. I may have gone a little overboard with the apples though."
Dr. S: "There's no a little overboard. Once you're gone, you're gone."
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Toddler Veggies
My toddler.... mostly won't eat vegetables. Except when he will. Or when someone else gives him veggies. Or those mini sweet peppers. Or those three times he ate, like, a half pound of salad for dinner.* Anyhow. Green stuff? Forget it. Except! This is the ONE THING he will always eat:
Vegan Pea Pesto-Like Object
1 lb frozen peas (or 1/2 lb peas and 10 oz frozen spinach)
6 oz toasted unsalted sunflower seeds
6-10 cloves garlic
1 t salt
1 t rosemary
4 T olive oil
4 T lemon juice
(Optional: fresh basil. We usually don't have any.)
Boil 1.5 lbs pasta. Heat up the peas. Defrost and drain the spinach if you're using it. Food processor the heck out of the sunflower seeds and garlic. Throw in everything else and let your toddler hit the 'pulse' button to his or her heart's content. Taste it and adjust spicing. Drain the pasta, mix all the pesto with all the pasta, and tell your toddler it's Dinosaur Pasta. Watch in amazement as they devour green vegetables. Repeat as needed.
Anyone have more sure-fire vegetable-containing toddler dinners for me? Preferably fast ones. Also: vegan. (Sorry. Yes, we eat meat but I'm allergic to dairy and we usually have chicken once a week, and besides, Bug mostly won't eat meat. Except smoked salmon.)
*Not salad like this (the salad of my spouse's people). Salad like this.
(P.S. I just took a tour back through the blog's Flickr account looking for my salad picture (sadly absent; I appear to have, in a moment of rare restraint, refrained from mocking my in-laws' Jello). I cannot BELIEVE I hand-appliqued that quilt. Or hand-quilted more than one quilt. Or sewed that. Or that which will never fit me again, waaaah. Also, where the heck did I find this? And I have apparently been getting rid of unfortunate gifts from my in-laws for years. YEARS!!)
Vegan Pea Pesto-Like Object
1 lb frozen peas (or 1/2 lb peas and 10 oz frozen spinach)
6 oz toasted unsalted sunflower seeds
6-10 cloves garlic
1 t salt
1 t rosemary
4 T olive oil
4 T lemon juice
(Optional: fresh basil. We usually don't have any.)
Boil 1.5 lbs pasta. Heat up the peas. Defrost and drain the spinach if you're using it. Food processor the heck out of the sunflower seeds and garlic. Throw in everything else and let your toddler hit the 'pulse' button to his or her heart's content. Taste it and adjust spicing. Drain the pasta, mix all the pesto with all the pasta, and tell your toddler it's Dinosaur Pasta. Watch in amazement as they devour green vegetables. Repeat as needed.
Anyone have more sure-fire vegetable-containing toddler dinners for me? Preferably fast ones. Also: vegan. (Sorry. Yes, we eat meat but I'm allergic to dairy and we usually have chicken once a week, and besides, Bug mostly won't eat meat. Except smoked salmon.)
*Not salad like this (the salad of my spouse's people). Salad like this.
(P.S. I just took a tour back through the blog's Flickr account looking for my salad picture (sadly absent; I appear to have, in a moment of rare restraint, refrained from mocking my in-laws' Jello). I cannot BELIEVE I hand-appliqued that quilt. Or hand-quilted more than one quilt. Or sewed that. Or that which will never fit me again, waaaah. Also, where the heck did I find this? And I have apparently been getting rid of unfortunate gifts from my in-laws for years. YEARS!!)
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