You Never Write, You Never Call

Dear Readers, there have been THINGS going on.

(I have three small children.  There are always THINGS, frankly.)

I weaned Sweetpea two months ago; I have been either pregnant or nursing for seven of the last eight years. My health was most charitably described as not fantastic.  I am now giving my health a year to recover from All That Stuff.  (Also, a nice course of steroids and three kinds of antihistamines... yeah.)

I rage-quit the local LLL group after one round too many of "Food before one is just for fun!"  Oddly, the WHO believes it is for not having fucking malnutrition. Apparently science is only for when convenient.

My lovely flower bed is almost too full of plants to plant anything else.

(I have started another, deer-resistant, one.  There are worse problems to have.)

My part-time job has had Issues.  I can't really talk about those issues. Let's just say, someone quit but is still hanging around, someone needs to be hired temporarily, the local accreditor threw their usual fit over 18 Credit Hours Of Thing (my actual PhD in science from fucking Snooty U may be insufficient qualification to keep first-year students from setting themselves on fire, and teach them titration, my hand to God).  A somewhat unfortunate conversation left me with the impression that my work is not valued.  This set off a round of my Screw You Reflex, which was already present due to Person Who Quit (I have applied for 6 jobs in the last 3 months).

Also, I've been engaged in fine round of reflection on "Is this what I really want to be doing with my life?"

I am an adjunct.  I'm well-paid to do this, but there is no room for any kind of advancement, more pay, or even more work.  How long do I want to do this?  I don't know.  Somewhere between one more year and five more years, but probably not more than that.  Also, they still haven't told me if I'll even be teaching... in August.  You know, in two months.

So!  What am I going to do with my life?  I have been working on it.

Here are the things I value: time to pursue hobbies like gardening; money; social interaction with reasonable humans; work that I feel has purpose; work that is interesting; work that has social value to me;

Right now, I have very little time not devoted to child-wrangling, and so only the social-interaction gets filled. That is necessary, but not sufficient.  What would be sufficient?  At least two.  Time and social value would do, but that won't happen until the children are all in school.  Otherwise, one needs to be money.

ADJUNCTING:  Pluses: convenient, local, money per hour is good.  Minuses: cap means my max earnings there ever will be ~30,000/year (for 15-20 hr/week of work for 9 months a year); will likely never do anything but intro chem; lack of professional respect*; nowhere to go; may limit future career prospects; unpleasant uncertainty until the last minute, apparently forever.  Uncertain factors: New boss who isn't really the boss yet; nobody knows what is happening including new boss.**  VERDICT: Form exit strategy for within next 4 years.***

SKIPPING TOWN: Pluses: literally anywhere else has more employment prospects.  Minuses: we are near my parents, who are fantastic and make my life 50% easier; we live in literally the most beautiful part of the state; we have a nice house and a really good life; the local public schools are pretty good; a huge set of benefits including college tuition; Dr. S has a fantastic job with fantastic people, which he really likes and which is basically optimized in a lot of ways that are difficult to achieve.  In essence, all parameters except 'acceptable employment for me' are met.  Surely I can find something acceptable in the next four years?

WAITING IT OUT: Jobs do, periodically, come open at the colleges.  (One for which I applied is now open AGAIN because the lady they hired instead of me... up and quit!).

MOAR EDUCATION: Pluses: there is an online course at Nearby Respected State University in computer stuff; this would probably make me more competitive for all the IT stuff.  Would actually give me interesting useful skills.  Minuses: Would still need to find something I could do remotely, or would have to commute 2+ hrs/day; or could wait it out for an IT job at local college (iffy!).  Money for course (not excessive).

REALLY MOAR EDUCATION: I could go get a bachelor's in computer science and redo from start.  While this seems ridiculous, if my knowledge/experience/credentials are doing me no good now, they are a sunk cost and it's time to move on.  Pluses: I could be a programmer for real! More possibilities for remote work. Minuses: Time, initial investment, other programmers.

POSSIBLE JOB AT COLLEGE IN NEXT CITY OVER: I applied for an adjunct job there and the chair emailed me about a job opening up next year.  I mean... really?  There is no way.  But let's pretend. Would I even want to do this?  I DON'T KNOW.

POSSIBLE OTHER JOBS:  Would need to convince various parties to employ me long-distance.  Current job contacts work in defense (I am an honest-to-God pacifist) and education software (about which I know little).  Would prob need at least the Moar Ed option.

I have no more time to reflect right now, but, More Thoughts Later.


* I am 'not competetive' for a 'real' faculty job because I didn't go do research at an R1 for 5 years after getting my honest-to-God research PhD.  Which, fine, whatever, I wasn't willing to pay that price.  But still: Academia, DIAF.

** We did have a friendly conversation the other day in which I said "If this continues to be one course per semester there will come a time when it is no longer worth it to me." (Implied: That time will be really soon.)

*** At which point Sweetpea will be in school and Dr. S will have gone up for tenure, which gives us both more latitude and time to deal with everything and, for many reasons, would make it easier for him to find another job if we have to burn it all down and move.

Recipe: Incidentally Vegan Dosa-ish Waffles

This recipe originated due to a tragic lack of gram dal in rural Virginia.  My children eat it cheerfully (generally with peanut butter), it's flexible, it has protein in it.  It's good with curry!  You can make quite a lot!  Etc.

Do Ahead Version:

Soak overnight in two separate bowls:

1 lb bean of your choice (red lentils, black eyed peas, NOT kidney beans)
A cup or two of any kind of rice
- for more authenticity, boil water, pour it over the rice, then soak overnight: dosa rice is parboiled

Pour off most of the water, saving about two cups somewhere.
Grind the beans in a food processor, adding water until it forms a smooth thick paste that is the consistency of pancake batter or glue. Put in a bowl.  Then grind up rice the same. Mix together and leave, covered, in a warm place for 2-3 days. If you have sourdough starter of any kind, you can add a little. It should smell kind of like yogurt.  If you're worried about it, add a tablespoon of yogurt and a pinch of yeast before fermenting. After the 2+3 days add about 2 teaspoons salt and mix well.

Cook in a well-oiled nonstick waffle iron on the high setting.  Good with practically anything. Batter keeps a long time in the refrigerator and can also be made into dosa-like pancakes, though it may need thinned a bit.


Oh No What's For Dinner Version:

1 lb red lentils
2 c rice flour (or wheat, if you want)
Some water
Maybe an egg
Yeast
Salt


Pour boiling water over lentils and leave them for about 15 minutes. In the meantime, mix flour and water to a medium thick paste and add yeast and salt.  When lentils have cooled enough to handle, grind as above and mix into flour.  Add an egg if you feel like it, and salt.  Waffulate.

Serious Conversations

Dr. S:  "There's something we need to talk about..... but I don't know if now's a good time?"
Me: "What, about the construction?  Our bank accounts?  Bills?"
Dr. S: "Well... no.  I know you won't like to hear this but...."

(I anticipate some dreadful thing incoming...)

"... I found a two inch long wolf spider in Bug's water shoes* and you might want to shake them out before he puts them on...."

Me: ." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SPIDERS I HATE SPIDERS AAAAAAAAAA"

Dr. S: "Yeah, that what I figured you'd say."


*A creek runs through our front yard.  A nice shallow creek.  The boys play in it almost every day!

Interpreting Southern

So I'll start by saying that in terms of everywhere northeast of Mississippi, I think I'm pretty good at interpreting what people are trying to convey.  This is helped by the fact that most of the Midwesterners I know are pretty blunt, straightforward people.  (It took me a long time to get used to how in Cold State, nobody goes through the "How are you?" exchange when they call - they just ask whatever it was, say goodbye, and hang up.)  I will reserve commentary on the Northeast.

But the South!  Now that I've had a few months to get over the re-acclimation/ culture shock/ bizarre lime green ankle pants, I think I pretty much know what people are saying.  I'm not a sociologist; I don't know why Southerners tend to say "the rabbi's singing is very... heartfelt" when they mean "he's completely tone-deaf and it causes me physical pain to listen to him", but there you have it.  Dr. S comes home every week, though, and says "I just don't know what people are trying to say."  And I can completely sympathize.

The fact that I grew up here also allows me to smile sweetly and not care what people are trying to convey between the lines.  I, too, can speak Southern: I can say "How kind of you to try to help" and let them know that I understand, but don't give a damn.