On Pesach Cleaning and Theology

The excellent Janus Professor asks, "I am curious as to what you do to 'celebrate' Pesach and why you do it."

Some days I am a theist and some days I am an agnostic. Nevertheless, I keep a fairly strict Jewish observance as kind of a spiritual exercise: it gives my life a framework, and it is a cultural connection to my family and to a larger community.

That said, the longer I spend in grad school, the more I find holidays a trial rather than a blessing. It's just so tiring.

So anyhow, Pesach. Taken from various harvest festivals, probably, (see here for an excellent summary); grain storehouses were cleaned before the first harvest, to prevent ergot and rot. The first fruits were then given as a Temple offering. Presumably while all the old grain was being tossed, one couldn't eat it (?). Therefore matzah. Or something. Later some spring fertility rituals got tossed in for good measure.

Somehow this got tangled up with the Exodus story: The Israelites were in a big hurry and didn't have time to let the bread rise. So we eat matzah to remember their affliction(s). So no leavening.*

Rabbinic tradition extends this to anything that has ever touched a grain, lest it should be leavened. So I, and many others, clean every flat surface in the entire house, switch out all the dishes for another set,** and boil the 'leavenedness' off the metal and glass dishes. And then plasticize or foil-ify all cooking surfaces (this year: autoclave bags!).

Traditionally we celebrate with a large feast (Seder- or two of them) with a lot of readings and holding up of symbolic foods: horseradish for the bitterness of slavery, lamb shank for the Temple offering, parsley and an egg for spring/ fertility. It's a big family-and-friends kind of affair; most years we hold one and go to someone else's. There's lots of food and eating and talking about peculiar Talmudic rulings and the natural history of matzah. This part is actually fun, especially if you don't have to do any of the cooking.

Some years, when I'm feeling energetic, I go to services and, y'know, pray. When I have enough mental energy, I try to remember the things from which I've been liberated, and be grateful for whatever spiritual support I receive. The theme is, after all, 'remember that your God brought you out of Egypt with a strong hand and an outstretched arm.'

And then at the end, we go out and buy a dozen doughnuts:

And eat them all.


*Just in case. The logical connection is a little tenuous.
**Yes, we have four sets of dishes. So help me.

(Continued)

(Fold Back Up)

OOPS.

Yesterday I found some 3H-labelled [cellular assay drug] in our freezer.

We don't have a radiation license. Oh, and the half life? 12.3 YEARS.

So.... how am I going to deal with this, without getting the lab in serious trouble?

I am going to put it in the back of the freezer and graduate before anyone notices.

**********

A couple years ago, another lab- which does have a radiation license- moved to Snooty U. They packed up the freezer contents in styrofoam boxes with dry ice, loaded it all onto the truck, and then unloaded it all immediately into the -80.

When safety came by to inspect, they found two packages of hot dogs in with the 32-P.

Someone was not paying attention while packing.

Safety was very upset.

(Continued)

(Fold Back Up)

Seminar Titles We Never See

"Shit We Tried That Didn't Work, Sometimes Repeatedly."
-Dr. Jekyll

"Things Do Things To Other Things."
-My dad's version of every slide title

"Things Do Things."
-Our joke about bad seminars

"I Don't Believe It Either, But It Got Me a Nature Paper."

"Spot the Faked Figure!"

"Unpublished Results That Contradict Our Hypothesis."

"Nou Viff Acksents aaand Typografffikal Erorrs."

"Incomprehensible Verbose Pretentious Old Guy Science: Fall Asleep Now."

"Using the Same Obsolete Technique Since 1983!" (corollary)

"Towards a Model of Bad Job Talks: Crystallography Strikes Back."

(Continued)

(Fold Back Up)

Research On The Cheap 3: Playing Nice With Others

How To Run A Lab (As) Cheaply (As Possible)

I encourage commentary; additional suggestions will be appended.

Part 1: Recycling and Repair
Part 2: DIY Lab Supplies

6. Shop around and negotiate.

• A lot of things can be bought elsewhere for less, and this place sells the weirdest stuff.
  
• Used equipment! (See here, e.g.) Really old things, especially, are worth it: they are unlikely to a) have circuit boards or b) break irreparably.
  
• Common household things- like tupperware containers- are useful. See also: Hardware stores.
  
• Ask for a samples, demos, and trials on equipment/ materials.
  
• Big companies (Sigma, IDT) will cut rates up to 25%. Negotiate long-term written agreements on consumables and services if possible, including sequencing/ analytical chemistry/ computer time. There is a lot of competition. If your college has any kind of support staff, try to negotiate for the college, and publicize: the more people will use it, the better deal you'll get. (Our stockroom gets 20% off, for example, and Dr. S's old lab negotiated a 3-for-price-of-2 deal with Qiagen. Of all places.)
• Ask for an academic price on equipment. Get two quotes and play them off each other; Sigma won't starve if you pay $500 less, and salespeople usually work on commission.
  
• Think hard about service contracts and how much the thingum breaks. Often, not worth it. (Except for: see #9.)
  

7. Share.

• Some places are set up so that large equipment can be used in common: centrifuges, -80 freezers, autoclaves, etc. Ask if anyone else has one, and offer to pay part of the service contract.
  
• There are grants for large equipment if it'll be used in common. (Though often not for maintenance.)
  
• Collaborate with someone who'll do your expensive experiment for an authorship!
  

8. No, really, avoid equipment with electronic parts. My lab has a Beckman ultra, bought seven years ago. It breaks every 3 months. Dr. S's lab has the very same ultra, bought 35 years ago. It has never broken. Old equipment that's still running.... works better. Beckman's parts used to be made by GE. Now they're made in China.

9. Know when it's dead. That centrifuge tube with a hairline crack? Toss it, it's dead. Don't push your equipment beyond its tolerances or you'll spend a lot of time fixing it.

10. Think twice and order once. I can't tell you how many wrong primers I've ordered, and I have a whole drawer of prematurely ordered things I can't use. It doesn't matter to my lab, but very important for the limited budget!

11. Try not to be depressed by how much everything costs. Yes, we're being ripped off. Oh well.

(Continued)

(Fold Back Up)

A Curious Thing

Today I read an article from 1999. The authors have since, of course, moved. So I searched for the last author's last name on PubMed.

After 2004 she did not exist.

I searched on Google. After 2004: nothing. I searched for her and 2007. I paged through several sets of uninformative data. Finally, on page 6, there was a 2007 conference program.

She got married and hyphenated her name. PubMed cannot find B. Godenot when listed as B. Godenot-Anstruther. (I am making this up, but both names are very distinctive and quite uncommon.)

Ladies and gentlemen, do not hyphenate your names, or the world of biology will think you've quit science, joined the circus, or died.


Addendum: You can harass by emailing custserv AT nlm DOT nih DOT gov, or by calling 1-888-346-3656. (See here.) I'm going to write them a vehement letter. And don't even get me started on their problems with Asian names.

(Continued)

(Fold Back Up)

From Definite To Definitely Vague

Ten years ago I was just entering college. I wanted to study abroad, do chemistry, and go hiking and canoeing a lot. (I did.)

Five years ago I had left a long relationship and was alternating long days at work with sitting on my bed staring at the ceiling. It was not a good year.

When I came to grad school, I wanted to teach at a SLAC. I loved my professors, and they loved teaching. They all did research, but we did real experiments and went to conferences. Eventually I realized, and later accepted, that I could take this path, but I was unwilling to.

So in the last year, I've looked at my options and decided I want something more stable, predictable, and well-paid. Right now, I don’t have career goals. To paraphrase Mrs. Whatsit, I have few desires remaining to me:

1) Sleep
2) Have a baby.

Later I may add:

3) Sew and garden
4) Earn money.

There are a lot of possibilities for jobs, going from science education and editing at the top down to supertech/lab manager at the very bottom. (Somewhere in the sub-basement is ‘Postdoc.’) While my little bear-brain is terrified of nobody wanting to hire me, my science-brain reminds me that two headhunters have already called and I haven't even been looking. So: Work. At something. Near family. This is my career goal for in five years. Plus a baby and a dog. Maybe two. (Each.) Oh yes, and the adorable husband; I'd like to keep him.

What has been amazing- and not necessarily in a good way- is my friends and I have changed. My girlfriends have children; many of them have become stereotypical wives, so it’s grown harder to understand each others’ daily lives. I have become a different person: harder, meaner, sharper-tongued, less patient, less tolerant, but also better at helping others even when I'm exhausted, more able to realize what's truly important, less likely to argue with my loved ones. I have absorbed enormous amounts of science. I can think up a coherent and plausible-sounding answer to any question in 10 seconds or less.

What I want personally, for the next five years, is to continue in a loving partnership with my spouse, to start a family, and to settle down somewhere. I have a picture in my head of how it'll be. I am going to make it happen.

Ten years, though? Too far away!

(Continued)

(Fold Back Up)

Sad Commentary

Yesterday I did the Timecourse From Hell. Then I left a cart by my bench, full of dirty specialized glassware. This afternoon I ran into it. Oh, I thought, I should wash that now, since I'm taking a three-day weekend.......

No.... wait, I'm taking a two-day weekend.

Sigh.

(Continued)

(Fold Back Up)