Thursday, January 02, 2014

Dear (Female) Cousin,

What lovely rings you and your girlfriend have exchanged!  When are you planning to get married?

How interesting.  I've never heard an engagement described as  "one step up from our other rings, which weren't engagement rings, but that was just a $15 level of commitment."  Nor as "a progression along our commitment to each other but I don't think we'll ever get, you know, married."

Well!  They're very nice rings. What stone is that?

Sincerely yours,

Those Aren't Engagement Rings

(P.S. We don't dislike your girlfriend because she's of a different ethnicity.  We dislike her because she is shallow, dumb, rude, and thinks there aren't any people of color in the South.)
(P.P.S.  You, too, dear.  You're 43; GROW UP.)


  1. Another example of equal-opportunity: stupidity knows no bounds of gender, age, race, or sexual orientation!


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