Today, my friends, I have collapsed into bed, where I am playing "Influenza Or Side Effects?" This would be a great exercise in analytical reasoning, except for the part where you only get to play it when you're not quite in your right mind! And I don't think of myself as particularly suggestible, but reading the reported side effects in prescribing information is practically guaranteed to give you at least one of them- headache if nothing else!
Anyhow, I think I'll try this particular medication again sometime... later. Possibly never.
Showing posts with label Allergy Hell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Allergy Hell. Show all posts
Saturday, May 11, 2019
Friday, October 07, 2016
Summer of My Discontent, State of the Self, Etc.
WORK: Hey, my job is... boring. Easy, but also boring. By the third time around with the same lab, I am really a little tired of it.
I continue to look for Another Job. There continue to not be Other Jobs here.
The downsides of adjuncting - the unpredictability has been much improved by New Chair - are that it never changes, and there's nowhere to go, professionally speaking. How many years in a row do I want to do Intro Chem Lab?
(Although the biology department wants me too and there is room for something different, eventually. Still.)
SELF: I have had a headache for 106 of the last 110 days. It's maybe getting better. I think. Maybe not. Here, let me make you a chronic pain scale:
0: Feel like a normal human being. Stabbing chronic pain? What's that? Also puppies, kittens, unicorns.
1: It hurts like I whanged my elbow on something, or stubbed all my toes. But not quite all the time.
2: It hurts all the time. I can ignore it for multiple hours at a time! Possibly I can sleep! (With drugs.)
3: I can ignore the pain for an hour at a time. The laundry mountain is growing and the kids are eating Cheese on Bread two meals a day.
4: I cannot ignore the pain at all, and the spiders are taking over the basement. Getting the mail is a challenge. It hurts to move.
5: At least 2 hours/day of laying in bed, considering sticking myself in the head with a small knife. I cry when the children touch me.
6: Considering a larger knife. I scream when the children touch me.
7: Seriously considering throwing self under the next passing large truck.
8: Would throw self under truck, but it hurts too much to get out of bed.
9: Would like to die imminently.
10: Can only lay in bed weeping. Can barely get up to go to the bathroom. No quality of life, would prefer to be dead RIGHT NOW.
It's at least a 4 or 5 every day.
(I am not actively suicidal. But also, is my pain adequately controlled? AH HA HA HA NO. My otherwise-excellent PCP suggested that I might be at risk of opioid addition*. I take 2.5 mg of opioid per DAY. No. Though partly I take that little because I fear that doctors will not prescribe me enough adequate pain relief NO REASON.)
I've run out of ETC. Happy Friday!
* "Rates of opioid abuse or dependence diagnosis ranged from 0.7% with lower-dose (≤36 MME) chronic therapy to 6.1% with higher-dose (≥120 MME) chronic therapy..."
I continue to look for Another Job. There continue to not be Other Jobs here.
The downsides of adjuncting - the unpredictability has been much improved by New Chair - are that it never changes, and there's nowhere to go, professionally speaking. How many years in a row do I want to do Intro Chem Lab?
(Although the biology department wants me too and there is room for something different, eventually. Still.)
SELF: I have had a headache for 106 of the last 110 days. It's maybe getting better. I think. Maybe not. Here, let me make you a chronic pain scale:
0: Feel like a normal human being. Stabbing chronic pain? What's that? Also puppies, kittens, unicorns.
1: It hurts like I whanged my elbow on something, or stubbed all my toes. But not quite all the time.
2: It hurts all the time. I can ignore it for multiple hours at a time! Possibly I can sleep! (With drugs.)
3: I can ignore the pain for an hour at a time. The laundry mountain is growing and the kids are eating Cheese on Bread two meals a day.
4: I cannot ignore the pain at all, and the spiders are taking over the basement. Getting the mail is a challenge. It hurts to move.
5: At least 2 hours/day of laying in bed, considering sticking myself in the head with a small knife. I cry when the children touch me.
6: Considering a larger knife. I scream when the children touch me.
7: Seriously considering throwing self under the next passing large truck.
8: Would throw self under truck, but it hurts too much to get out of bed.
9: Would like to die imminently.
10: Can only lay in bed weeping. Can barely get up to go to the bathroom. No quality of life, would prefer to be dead RIGHT NOW.
It's at least a 4 or 5 every day.
(I am not actively suicidal. But also, is my pain adequately controlled? AH HA HA HA NO. My otherwise-excellent PCP suggested that I might be at risk of opioid addition*. I take 2.5 mg of opioid per DAY. No. Though partly I take that little because I fear that doctors will not prescribe me enough adequate pain relief NO REASON.)
I've run out of ETC. Happy Friday!
* "Rates of opioid abuse or dependence diagnosis ranged from 0.7% with lower-dose (≤36 MME) chronic therapy to 6.1% with higher-dose (≥120 MME) chronic therapy..."
Friday, July 01, 2016
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
Well! I have recently been to visit the nice doctor for, I thought, a refill of the boring asthma inhalers. (Though not - I specified - the exciting ones.)
The nice doctor was rather concerned that I've spent so long being so ill, and the persistence of various things, and the fact that I turned up rubella-non-immune while gestating Sweetpea. So! Now I get to go be screened for a truly distressing array of Not Great Stuff. And, you know, some of it is quite plausible. This whole mess IS all outside of the normal range.
But, on the BRIGHT side, I would now be quite grateful for it to be JUST the world's worst allergies.
The nice doctor was rather concerned that I've spent so long being so ill, and the persistence of various things, and the fact that I turned up rubella-non-immune while gestating Sweetpea. So! Now I get to go be screened for a truly distressing array of Not Great Stuff. And, you know, some of it is quite plausible. This whole mess IS all outside of the normal range.
But, on the BRIGHT side, I would now be quite grateful for it to be JUST the world's worst allergies.
Monday, December 07, 2015
State of the Self, 10:30 PM, With Wine
HEADACHE: Mostly gone. Hearing probably also 5% reduced, but I'll take that over a perpetual knife in the ear. Let's say a 2.
F@#$ING MASTITIS: Persists as milk blister. Imagine a blister in a sensitive area and, well, it's about as fun as that. 3.5.
WORK FRUSTRATION: A solid 6 for reasons I will not discuss, owing to my desire to stay employed. Also frustrating: the fact that I do not enjoy or value most of my daily work of cooking, cleaning, and general contracting secondary to subsidizing my spouse's career. This Too Is A Phase.
CHILDREN: Continue to injure each other in appalling ways (no, I do not let them bully each other, but I cannot be constantly physically present with three children). Latest: head slammed in door. Ranging from 2 to 'It goes to eleven. "
BABY: Sweet, endearing, and yet SO high maintenance. I wonder if I will ever adapt to the reality of having a third child. Maybe when she can walk and talk? (Current words: DA- dog/cat/squirrel; NA NA- milk/mommy/feed me, peons). The baby year is just so darn hard, people.
FUCKING DEPRESSED: Enjoying a renaissance thanks to Where Are My Real Friends Here, I Want R and N, WAAAAAH. Prescription: more exercise, more free time (HA), more gardening (double ha).
NO F@#%ING STOVE: Have I mentioned I've had no stove for TWO months? Yes. It's kind of like going to the post office: anything involving more than a certain number of steps rapidly becomes asymptotic to 'impossible'. Now I must visit a metal shop during business hours, procure a 36 x 2 5/8" strip, sand it, and paint it black. This makes three stove tops, four trips to the hardware store, and three electricians.
F@#$ING MASTITIS: Persists as milk blister. Imagine a blister in a sensitive area and, well, it's about as fun as that. 3.5.
WORK FRUSTRATION: A solid 6 for reasons I will not discuss, owing to my desire to stay employed. Also frustrating: the fact that I do not enjoy or value most of my daily work of cooking, cleaning, and general contracting secondary to subsidizing my spouse's career. This Too Is A Phase.
CHILDREN: Continue to injure each other in appalling ways (no, I do not let them bully each other, but I cannot be constantly physically present with three children). Latest: head slammed in door. Ranging from 2 to 'It goes to eleven. "
BABY: Sweet, endearing, and yet SO high maintenance. I wonder if I will ever adapt to the reality of having a third child. Maybe when she can walk and talk? (Current words: DA- dog/cat/squirrel; NA NA- milk/mommy/feed me, peons). The baby year is just so darn hard, people.
FUCKING DEPRESSED: Enjoying a renaissance thanks to Where Are My Real Friends Here, I Want R and N, WAAAAAH. Prescription: more exercise, more free time (HA), more gardening (double ha).
NO F@#%ING STOVE: Have I mentioned I've had no stove for TWO months? Yes. It's kind of like going to the post office: anything involving more than a certain number of steps rapidly becomes asymptotic to 'impossible'. Now I must visit a metal shop during business hours, procure a 36 x 2 5/8" strip, sand it, and paint it black. This makes three stove tops, four trips to the hardware store, and three electricians.
Monday, September 21, 2015
Placeholder for:
- A very long summary of how I came to give my baby (some, as it happens, as opposed to all) formula; with FEEELINGS
- My students' latest train wreck, which makes me wonder if I am the worst teacher ever (probably not, two got 93% even though the mean was a 56)
- Lots of feelings about my health, or lack thereof, and the hopes that the nice ENT will help the headache I've had for.... 18 months
- Where Does the Time Go and Why Is My House So Messy, A Multi-part Lament
Also, in response to ongoing comment woes, I have switched all the comments to moderation, which should fix at least the LJ login problem (I tested it) and possibly also WordPress. Let me know. I mean, once I fish the comments out of the mod queue.
Wednesday, September 09, 2015
Note To Self
The next time you are full of woe, overwhelm-ment, and sadness, Self, ask yourself if you have a terrible headache? Ask yourself, have you felt like roadkill since you got knocked up? (A year ago April. So... 17 months.) Has there been even one month since then when you were not in at least moderate pain? This, Self, is why you feel full of WOE. Also, maybe it's time to go see someone about that.
(It is from entirely physical causes, having to do with Fucking Allergies. I am considering eating only rice, salmon, and leafy veggies for a few weeks, except, oh yes, I've done that and it was awful.)
(It is from entirely physical causes, having to do with Fucking Allergies. I am considering eating only rice, salmon, and leafy veggies for a few weeks, except, oh yes, I've done that and it was awful.)
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Owing to Circumstances Beyond Our Control
I'm going to have to confine my remarks to things NOT having to do with my multitudinous feelings.
Item: I continue to loathe all persons asserting that science has no value or validity in their lives, and who have nonetheless not died of dental abscesses, measles, smallpox, pneumonia, or asthma.
Item: I am going to have to uninvite the anti-vaccine person from playgroup and, contrary to what people may think, I do not actually enjoy being mean.
Item: Bug has now gone to 4.5 days of school and continues to be a crazed weasel afterwards.
Item: Sweetpea almost has a nap schedule. I usually get 90 minutes alone. In that time I can either do yoga, make dinner, or eat lunch, but only one. This is not ideal.
Item: Next week I return to working... all of three hours per week.
Item: I am contemplating joining the Y solely for the childcare. Because then I might get exercise. (Many repeated joint injuries make running inadvisable.) This is especially trying given that I have free access to two gyms AND a set of fitness classes. But.... childcare.
Item: The Headache of Doom continues. I begin to wonder if perhaps I should seek medical advice. Do you suppose they'd give me more narcotics if I ask nicely?
Item: I continue to loathe all persons asserting that science has no value or validity in their lives, and who have nonetheless not died of dental abscesses, measles, smallpox, pneumonia, or asthma.
Item: I am going to have to uninvite the anti-vaccine person from playgroup and, contrary to what people may think, I do not actually enjoy being mean.
Item: Bug has now gone to 4.5 days of school and continues to be a crazed weasel afterwards.
Item: Sweetpea almost has a nap schedule. I usually get 90 minutes alone. In that time I can either do yoga, make dinner, or eat lunch, but only one. This is not ideal.
Item: Next week I return to working... all of three hours per week.
Item: I am contemplating joining the Y solely for the childcare. Because then I might get exercise. (Many repeated joint injuries make running inadvisable.) This is especially trying given that I have free access to two gyms AND a set of fitness classes. But.... childcare.
Item: The Headache of Doom continues. I begin to wonder if perhaps I should seek medical advice. Do you suppose they'd give me more narcotics if I ask nicely?
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Allergies
Our otherwise very good family doctor said to give "limited" amounts of nuts to the baby before age one. Well, I'd already given her peanuts, eggs, and cow dairy, to no ill effects. Also sesame, assorted fruits and veggies, wheat, and corn. Probably soy too though I wasn't really trying.
Yesterday I have her a tiny amount of ground cashews.
Ten minutes later her eyes swelled up so much she couldn't see out of one of them.
Since she was breathing fine, I ran home and gave her a half-dose of benadryl (check with your doctor, naturally, but the dosage I was given was 1.25 mg/kg)*. She threw up twice (before the benadryl, fortunately) She got a terrible itchy rash from head to toe. Her eyes eventually de-puffed, but she still had some classic 'allergic shiners'. This is actually quite worrying- contact dermatitis is one thing but signs of a systemic reaction are much more serious. However, as she continued to breathe fine, I didn't take her anywhere to be observed at painful length, remonstrated with at tedious length, and given benadryl for the baby. Oh, and a $350 bill to boot.
Intellectually, I know that my nearly seven month old with very mild eczema had nothing going on to tell me to run away from the tree nuts. Waiting five more months probably wouldn't have prevented this and - based on actual good prospective research- might have made any underlying predispositions worse.
I still feel like a terrible mother.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I seem to have eaten something unfortunate myself....
*True story: a colleague and his wife once walked into the ER here HOLDING her epi-pen and requested someone help them administer it because they just wanted to make sure they did it right. 25 minutes of sitting around later, they did it themselves and walked out, because NOBODY HELPED THEM. (Yes, none of this was a good idea.) So if I'm not having a real emergency, you can bet I stay faaaaarrrrr away.
Yesterday I have her a tiny amount of ground cashews.
Ten minutes later her eyes swelled up so much she couldn't see out of one of them.
Since she was breathing fine, I ran home and gave her a half-dose of benadryl (check with your doctor, naturally, but the dosage I was given was 1.25 mg/kg)*. She threw up twice (before the benadryl, fortunately) She got a terrible itchy rash from head to toe. Her eyes eventually de-puffed, but she still had some classic 'allergic shiners'. This is actually quite worrying- contact dermatitis is one thing but signs of a systemic reaction are much more serious. However, as she continued to breathe fine, I didn't take her anywhere to be observed at painful length, remonstrated with at tedious length, and given benadryl for the baby. Oh, and a $350 bill to boot.
Intellectually, I know that my nearly seven month old with very mild eczema had nothing going on to tell me to run away from the tree nuts. Waiting five more months probably wouldn't have prevented this and - based on actual good prospective research- might have made any underlying predispositions worse.
I still feel like a terrible mother.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I seem to have eaten something unfortunate myself....
*True story: a colleague and his wife once walked into the ER here HOLDING her epi-pen and requested someone help them administer it because they just wanted to make sure they did it right. 25 minutes of sitting around later, they did it themselves and walked out, because NOBODY HELPED THEM. (Yes, none of this was a good idea.) So if I'm not having a real emergency, you can bet I stay faaaaarrrrr away.
Friday, September 05, 2014
Five Minute Blogging: Feelings on Professional Work, and on Breastfeeding
1) I can't quite articulate why, but it's like a giant weight has lifted, simply because I have work for which I receive both respect and money. My education is actually useful for something! I can stop worrying that I'll never work again! (I still worry that I may end up adjuncting for almost-forever. Still.)
2) Someone asked if I was planning on going to the local LLL meeting, like, ever. Errrrrrgh. I tried to tactfully explain that, in fact, I had some serious medical problems last time, and treating them led to permanent serious medical problems. And that a doctor/lactation consultant, whose specialty is serious medical problems in breastfeeding, told me that I both could and should stop. Also that I don't want well-meaning people running through "Did you try heat? How about probiotics? Pumping? Fenugreek? ECHINACEA?" I tried all of those for which there was any evidence whatsoever, I ended up really, really sick as a result of not weaning my child, which in retrospect was the correct choice; too late now - and I have NO INTENTION of going through that again. When I say that if I get mastitis even once, I'm done, this is based on years of painful experiences and consultation with three specialist MDs and every piece of scientific literature ever published on the subject. And I don't want to try echinacea/ acupuncture/ traditional Chinese medicine/ homeopathy/ whatever. NO.
(Yes, I get a little annoyed about this one.)
2) Someone asked if I was planning on going to the local LLL meeting, like, ever. Errrrrrgh. I tried to tactfully explain that, in fact, I had some serious medical problems last time, and treating them led to permanent serious medical problems. And that a doctor/lactation consultant, whose specialty is serious medical problems in breastfeeding, told me that I both could and should stop. Also that I don't want well-meaning people running through "Did you try heat? How about probiotics? Pumping? Fenugreek? ECHINACEA?" I tried all of those for which there was any evidence whatsoever, I ended up really, really sick as a result of not weaning my child, which in retrospect was the correct choice; too late now - and I have NO INTENTION of going through that again. When I say that if I get mastitis even once, I'm done, this is based on years of painful experiences and consultation with three specialist MDs and every piece of scientific literature ever published on the subject. And I don't want to try echinacea/ acupuncture/ traditional Chinese medicine/ homeopathy/ whatever. NO.
(Yes, I get a little annoyed about this one.)
Friday, May 02, 2014
On Illness and Identity
Ever since I was pregnant with Tatoe (he's two and a half now), some moderately bad health things have been happening. They are mostly stabilized (solution 1: don't have any more children), but I have also, for the last three years, woken up in pain somewhere between every day and twice a week. This has done bad things to my little hamster brain. I don't know what the proper psychological term is; some disastrous mix of aversive conditioning, catastrophizing, and learned helplessness.
Some of it can be managed by being incredibly strict and rigid - specifically, food. Words can hardly express how unpleasant I find my current relationship with food - one of fear, resentment, and boredom in equal parts, with occasional sleepless red-ant-gnawed misery, combined with a reasonable but socially awkward reluctance to eat anything anyone else cooks, ever.* I am always afraid it is going to get worse (even though it's not, right now) and then I literally don't know what I would do. I feel helpless because I have a realistic belief that this may never get any better.
When I am in pain, I fear it happening over and over far out of proportion to the actual pain. As I've had histamine reactions** to at least two opiates, my pain is never 'adequately managed'. I am afraid that my image of myself as a strong, healthy, competent person is wrong, has changed, will never be true again. I try to tell myself that my fear spiral is not rational. I've mostly stopped getting sick all the time. That's better. I don't wake up in pain every day. I have less trouble sleeping. I stopped losing weight. That's better too. But still, every time it gets out of equilibrium, I have an irrational, panicked fear that it will never go back.
(I am not actually as depressed as this sounds. I just had a really bad week.)
.
* Aside from my mother, my sister, and Nicole, who lives 900 miles away now.
** It turns out that "I want to scratch my entire skin off and I cannot sleep for more than five minutes" is actually worse than just being in pain.
Some of it can be managed by being incredibly strict and rigid - specifically, food. Words can hardly express how unpleasant I find my current relationship with food - one of fear, resentment, and boredom in equal parts, with occasional sleepless red-ant-gnawed misery, combined with a reasonable but socially awkward reluctance to eat anything anyone else cooks, ever.* I am always afraid it is going to get worse (even though it's not, right now) and then I literally don't know what I would do. I feel helpless because I have a realistic belief that this may never get any better.
When I am in pain, I fear it happening over and over far out of proportion to the actual pain. As I've had histamine reactions** to at least two opiates, my pain is never 'adequately managed'. I am afraid that my image of myself as a strong, healthy, competent person is wrong, has changed, will never be true again. I try to tell myself that my fear spiral is not rational. I've mostly stopped getting sick all the time. That's better. I don't wake up in pain every day. I have less trouble sleeping. I stopped losing weight. That's better too. But still, every time it gets out of equilibrium, I have an irrational, panicked fear that it will never go back.
(I am not actually as depressed as this sounds. I just had a really bad week.)
.
* Aside from my mother, my sister, and Nicole, who lives 900 miles away now.
** It turns out that "I want to scratch my entire skin off and I cannot sleep for more than five minutes" is actually worse than just being in pain.
Monday, November 18, 2013
A (Mostly Cheap) Brownie For All Allergies
(Adapted from Smitten Kitchen's recipe)
Dear Readers, do you know how I feel about insult (can't eat anything) being added to injury (dairy allergy)? I feel frickin' ticked off. However, these brownies help. You can make them gluten-free. You can make them dairyless. You could even make them vegan, though I haven't tried that yet, so caveat comestor. You can also make them from normal things that normal people have around the house, or at least from stuff you can buy at Walmart* with a minimum of inconvenience.
Cocoa Brownies
10 T probably-not-butter
(options: Crisco**; coconut oil, either refined, mysteriously de-coconut-flavored, or not refined, it's all the same; palm shortening, sold as Spectrum vegetable shortening, or whatever You can use oil if you have to but it tends to separate out.)
1/2 c sugar
2 T molasses
A little less than a cup of cocoa powder.
(Look, I use the Toll House brand because that's what I can buy. They taste fine. Would fancy expensive cocoa powder taste better? Probably, but...)
1/4 t salt
1/2 t vanilla extract (you can use vanilla bean past if these need to be alcohol-free for a Muslim pal)
2 large eggs (or 1/2 c hot water + 1 T ground flaxseed, or EnerG)
1/2 c flour-like substance.
(Half food-processored-oatmeal and half cornstarch; some corn flour and rice flour and cornstarch; tapioca and rice flours if you can eat those; whatever.)
Optional: 1/2 (?) c chocolate chips.
(Ghirardelli semi-sweet contain no dairy AND taste good, though not as good as the bittersweet ones which do contain milk fat, and though they have the standard 'made in a facility that processes dairy', I am super-extra-allergic to dairy and the semisweet ones are fine for me. YMMV.)
Preferably in a bowl over simmering water/ a double boiler, melt the shortening with the sugar, molasses, cocoa powder, and salt. Or you can microwave it if you have to. Beat in the eggs for about 30 seconds; it should get kind of thick. Add the vanilla extract, flour, and chocolate chips. Mix very well. Put 12 muffin papers in a muffin tin and divide the batter into 12 brownie-cupcakes. Bake at 325 F for 20-30 minutes or until you feel like they are done enough to eat. If you are using coconut oil it may bubble up around the batter in a disturbing fashion. Do not be alarmed! It will all soak back in once you take them out of the oven.
(Not recommended: All in one pan.)
* The main grocery store in these parts. I live in the hills, y'all.
** Yes, I know that Trans Fats Will Kill You; I can't eat it anyways, and it's not like one should make this every day. Trying to make this easy here.
Dear Readers, do you know how I feel about insult (can't eat anything) being added to injury (dairy allergy)? I feel frickin' ticked off. However, these brownies help. You can make them gluten-free. You can make them dairyless. You could even make them vegan, though I haven't tried that yet, so caveat comestor. You can also make them from normal things that normal people have around the house, or at least from stuff you can buy at Walmart* with a minimum of inconvenience.
Cocoa Brownies
10 T probably-not-butter
(options: Crisco**; coconut oil, either refined, mysteriously de-coconut-flavored, or not refined, it's all the same; palm shortening, sold as Spectrum vegetable shortening, or whatever You can use oil if you have to but it tends to separate out.)
1/2 c sugar
2 T molasses
A little less than a cup of cocoa powder.
(Look, I use the Toll House brand because that's what I can buy. They taste fine. Would fancy expensive cocoa powder taste better? Probably, but...)
1/4 t salt
1/2 t vanilla extract (you can use vanilla bean past if these need to be alcohol-free for a Muslim pal)
2 large eggs (or 1/2 c hot water + 1 T ground flaxseed, or EnerG)
1/2 c flour-like substance.
(Half food-processored-oatmeal and half cornstarch; some corn flour and rice flour and cornstarch; tapioca and rice flours if you can eat those; whatever.)
Optional: 1/2 (?) c chocolate chips.
(Ghirardelli semi-sweet contain no dairy AND taste good, though not as good as the bittersweet ones which do contain milk fat, and though they have the standard 'made in a facility that processes dairy', I am super-extra-allergic to dairy and the semisweet ones are fine for me. YMMV.)
Preferably in a bowl over simmering water/ a double boiler, melt the shortening with the sugar, molasses, cocoa powder, and salt. Or you can microwave it if you have to. Beat in the eggs for about 30 seconds; it should get kind of thick. Add the vanilla extract, flour, and chocolate chips. Mix very well. Put 12 muffin papers in a muffin tin and divide the batter into 12 brownie-cupcakes. Bake at 325 F for 20-30 minutes or until you feel like they are done enough to eat. If you are using coconut oil it may bubble up around the batter in a disturbing fashion. Do not be alarmed! It will all soak back in once you take them out of the oven.
(Not recommended: All in one pan.)
* The main grocery store in these parts. I live in the hills, y'all.
** Yes, I know that Trans Fats Will Kill You; I can't eat it anyways, and it's not like one should make this every day. Trying to make this easy here.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
"Have You Tried Herbal Remedies?"
- a question asked me by a well-meaning person regarding the whole allergic-to-everything fiasco.
Here is what I think happened (note that this is not subject to proof): I was allergic to some pollens (skin-prick and IgE confirmed). I eventually developed an intolerance to celery and walnut. This was in about 2006. At length, I had a couple kids, got mastitis both times, and took antibiotics for a total of two years. (With the accompaniment of all kinds of vegetable, probiotic, and vitamin goodness, on the advice of my physician.) The antibiotics eventually damaged my intestinal structure in some way that let a larger percentage of partially-hydrolyzed proteins through (hand-wave, hand-wave, or something). My B cells (they make IgE, remember) responded by multiplying. When they multiply, their IgE chain DNA is more susceptible to mutation (white blood cells already have a high degree of controlled rearrangement), or so my spouse tells me; so I ended up with a pseudo-clonal population that had gone all haywire all over everything that looks even a tiny bit like birch pollen. (I already had a latex contact reaction and - rare in adults! - a true, wheezing-and-hives, IgE mediated dairy allergy. And asthma. So basically my immune system sucks.) Then everything went all pear-shaped.
This is a long way of saying that, even if I thought 'herbal remedies' were a good choice for 'turn down that immune system there', I'm probably allergic to them.
Here is what I think happened (note that this is not subject to proof): I was allergic to some pollens (skin-prick and IgE confirmed). I eventually developed an intolerance to celery and walnut. This was in about 2006. At length, I had a couple kids, got mastitis both times, and took antibiotics for a total of two years. (With the accompaniment of all kinds of vegetable, probiotic, and vitamin goodness, on the advice of my physician.) The antibiotics eventually damaged my intestinal structure in some way that let a larger percentage of partially-hydrolyzed proteins through (hand-wave, hand-wave, or something). My B cells (they make IgE, remember) responded by multiplying. When they multiply, their IgE chain DNA is more susceptible to mutation (white blood cells already have a high degree of controlled rearrangement), or so my spouse tells me; so I ended up with a pseudo-clonal population that had gone all haywire all over everything that looks even a tiny bit like birch pollen. (I already had a latex contact reaction and - rare in adults! - a true, wheezing-and-hives, IgE mediated dairy allergy. And asthma. So basically my immune system sucks.) Then everything went all pear-shaped.
This is a long way of saying that, even if I thought 'herbal remedies' were a good choice for 'turn down that immune system there', I'm probably allergic to them.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Resentful, and Food
So I'm sure you're all deeply curious about my FEELINGS. Especially about suddenly being unable to eat anything, and therefore sounding crazy.
Well, how I feel is !@$%^& ANNOYED. I have to cook frigging everything because the only things we ever have around that are snack-like (that I can eat) are raisins, sunflower seeds, and cashews. Sometimes chocolate chips, but then I eat them with gloom-filled rapidity. Also oranges. These are all things that rapidly get old. Sometimes I bake things with weird rice flour and stuff, but 1) it's a lot of work; 2) we are moving and I have zero time; 3) about half the time they turn out just one step above compost quality, i.e. really strange*; and 4) if they aren't strange, all the other people in the house eat them too. They'll have what Mama's having.
Anyhow. Annoyed! And tired! And about twice as tired of that whole 'coming up with dinner' as I was before.
*I can't eat tapioca flour or soy or dairy, so most commercial EVERYTHING is off-limits. Also no 'modified food starch' or 'tapioca maltodextrin.' (Read your labels some day and be amazed how many things those are in. Gatorade! Rice crackers!)
Well, how I feel is !@$%^& ANNOYED. I have to cook frigging everything because the only things we ever have around that are snack-like (that I can eat) are raisins, sunflower seeds, and cashews. Sometimes chocolate chips, but then I eat them with gloom-filled rapidity. Also oranges. These are all things that rapidly get old. Sometimes I bake things with weird rice flour and stuff, but 1) it's a lot of work; 2) we are moving and I have zero time; 3) about half the time they turn out just one step above compost quality, i.e. really strange*; and 4) if they aren't strange, all the other people in the house eat them too. They'll have what Mama's having.
Anyhow. Annoyed! And tired! And about twice as tired of that whole 'coming up with dinner' as I was before.
*I can't eat tapioca flour or soy or dairy, so most commercial EVERYTHING is off-limits. Also no 'modified food starch' or 'tapioca maltodextrin.' (Read your labels some day and be amazed how many things those are in. Gatorade! Rice crackers!)
Friday, May 03, 2013
Nervous
Today at Oh-God-Thirty, I am off to be anesthesia-d and sinus surgeried. I have avoided looking up anything whatsoever, so I don't even know what the hell they're going to do. (You may find this entirely uncharacteristic. It is.) I more or less trust the doctor/surgeon fellow (a friend's husband). Also I have worked my way down the entire list in my favorite long boring review of 'what to do in case of sinusitis' (antihistamines, check; nasal steroids, check; immune modifiers, check; lots and lots of antibiotics, check; CT scan showing total blockage of one sinus, CHECK). I have also had a stabbing sensation in my cheekbone and ear for FIVE months. Someone, please make it stop.
I have made elaborate arrangements for other people to take care of my children so that Dr. S can drive back and forth in a highly boring fashion. I have, hopefully, prepared a couple meals in advance for everyone. (Dr. S can cook quite well, but is not fantastically talented at cooking with a background chorus of screaming children.)
So, until the narcotics, sedatives, and/or benzodiazepenes wear off, you can probably assume that I'm not dead yet, but I may be wishing for it.
(P.S. These past 12 months are getting marked in my mental calendar as "The Year My Immune System Got Fucked The Hell Up.")
Update: I aten't dead. But I think I need to go take some more narcotics now. I don't feel NEARLY high enough.
(I would also like to add that I had to repeat the childcare logistics to Dr. S not once, not twice, but SIX times. Especially impressive as his part amounted to: 1) take me to surgery; 2) drop off the kids at home; 3) get me from surgery; 4) be home at 2:30. The End, Everything Else Is Arranged. I'm very fond of him, but some days I wonder if I should tape notes to his forehead.)
I have made elaborate arrangements for other people to take care of my children so that Dr. S can drive back and forth in a highly boring fashion. I have, hopefully, prepared a couple meals in advance for everyone. (Dr. S can cook quite well, but is not fantastically talented at cooking with a background chorus of screaming children.)
So, until the narcotics, sedatives, and/or benzodiazepenes wear off, you can probably assume that I'm not dead yet, but I may be wishing for it.
(P.S. These past 12 months are getting marked in my mental calendar as "The Year My Immune System Got Fucked The Hell Up.")
Update: I aten't dead. But I think I need to go take some more narcotics now. I don't feel NEARLY high enough.
(I would also like to add that I had to repeat the childcare logistics to Dr. S not once, not twice, but SIX times. Especially impressive as his part amounted to: 1) take me to surgery; 2) drop off the kids at home; 3) get me from surgery; 4) be home at 2:30. The End, Everything Else Is Arranged. I'm very fond of him, but some days I wonder if I should tape notes to his forehead.)
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Diagnostic (In Which I Complain, Yet Again, About My Lack of Health)
I keep discovering, generally the hard way, that there are yet more things that make me feel extremely ill. (Recently: tapioca starch - which shares an antigen with latex! to which I am, naturally, allergic - and carob - thanks, peanuts.)
As a scientist, it was hammered into me that biological phenomena are not publishable without a mechanism. Or at least a diagram with blobs and a suggested mechanism. I really want to know what's causing this: did the antibiotics do something unfortunate to my innards? Did being sick all winter and having two chronic infections make my T cells go nuts? Is something else wrong?
Of course, it being medicine and not biology, there's no reason to suppose that knowing why would give me any more information on what to do. I should continue to eat only things that don't make me sick, and take lots of antihistamines. (I had no idea you could take two at once! However, you probably shouldn't do this your own self without asking a medical professional. Mine said to take lots and lots of antihistamines.)
All the same, not knowing WHY drives me a little crazy. Dr. S would say that it's a short trip.
As a scientist, it was hammered into me that biological phenomena are not publishable without a mechanism. Or at least a diagram with blobs and a suggested mechanism. I really want to know what's causing this: did the antibiotics do something unfortunate to my innards? Did being sick all winter and having two chronic infections make my T cells go nuts? Is something else wrong?
Of course, it being medicine and not biology, there's no reason to suppose that knowing why would give me any more information on what to do. I should continue to eat only things that don't make me sick, and take lots of antihistamines. (I had no idea you could take two at once! However, you probably shouldn't do this your own self without asking a medical professional. Mine said to take lots and lots of antihistamines.)
All the same, not knowing WHY drives me a little crazy. Dr. S would say that it's a short trip.
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