Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Really, Not That You Asked (3)

7:30 AM: My contractions slow down to every ten minutes again. "Pitocin!" the nurse chirps, and hangs a bag. I don't care.

Until 10 AM: I think nothing is happening because the intensity never goes past 20 on the LYING BASTARD of a contraction monitor.

10 AM: I start feeling pressure.  I don't mention it because I don't want anyone to BOTHER me.

10:45 AM: I decide that perhaps I should mention it.  Also, I decide that the contraction monitor has been LYING.  The nurse and midwife have a genteel tiff: the midwife is upset that the nurse checked me; the nurse points out that she paged the midwife five times with no response.  I ignore them all, including when the midwife tries to coach my pushing.

The rest is pretty mundane. At about 11:15, the baby popped out in the usual eel-like fashion, looked around, and screamed.

The thing is, I already did a drug-free childbirth; this time, I felt like I had nothing to prove to anyone, including myself, and I didn't want to be in that much pain any more.  Having done it the other way, I didn't feel like I was missing anything by getting an epidural and a little pitocin.  And you know what?  It was great.

And I had been in labor for SIX DAYS, too.


  1. SIX DAYS! I thought my 53 hours was awful. I feel for you so much.

  2. Let's hear it for having nothing to prove. Let's not hear it at all for six day labors. Aarrrg.

  3. Sara/Irie11:34 PM

    I like it when women brag about having drug-free childbirth because it's not like I'm going to give them a medal. I've had three kids- one was natural and the other two with drugs.

  4. Anonymous2:44 PM

    Well, congratulations! He's pretty freakin adorable. I loved my epidural because I finally was able to sleep, and I needed that rest when it came time to push for 3 hours! (Yes, maybe I would have been better at pushing if it hadn't been for the epidural, but I don't care. I needed to sleep.) I know, you didn't ask. Sorry. Enjoy your little guy.

  5. Congratulations! I hope the newborn and the rest of your family are adjusting to each other well!

  6. Amanda: It's not a competition of SUCK!! And really, once it gets past a certain point I think the awfulness kind of plateaus.

    Bunny: So yes.

    Irie: I promise I've never bragged about it!

    ScienceofMom: I know how you felt! A lot of screw it, give me the epidural already. :)

    SG: Everyone seems to be doing pretty well and the spouse is suddenly realizing what it's like to be home with a toddler all day. Heh heh heh (evil grin).

  7. my lying bastard of a blog reader never registered this post. please accept my apologies for seeming to ignore it.


    i hate contraction monitors. i wouldn't hate them if they worked, but ffs, i'm beginning to think they don't.

    i love epidurals and am glad you did, too. am relieved to hear you didn't feel you missed anything this way, but even if you'd said the opposite, i don't think i'd sign on to do it again without the epidural just for the sake of the EXPERIENCE, you know?

    oh, dear. my poor baby is waking up. i bet he'd nap better if i hadn't been so selfish with my own needs at birth, huh?


  8. Indeed, I didn't mean to imply that anyone is missing ANYTHING by skipping an epidural, or whatever. More that I had something to prove to myself, and I did, and then I was all like, well, I'm not doing THAT again.

    Seriously, too. LYING BASTARD CONTRACTION MONITORS. Plus they fall off all the damn time.


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