Yesterday, I accepted a job offer with a tech company I'd never heard of a month ago. (Look, sometimes those LinkedIn 'you should apply for this' suggestions are really good.)
Today I went to work and hauled away all my plants and papers and spare shoes and all the other things that accumulate over years. Also all my co-workers had feelings at me about this- they are happy for me but also the fall is now going to be mildly disastrous and also they're sad because I was good at it, dammit.
I am now having a complex emotional reaction which I can't easily interpret. On the one hand, my new co-workers seem legit awesome and I'm actually looking forward to all this. Also, they are paying me nearly twice what the university was, so, you know, that's nice. And the university could have made me a more long term offer any time in the past THREE YEARS if they wanted me to actually stay, but you know, things happen in academia like glaciers in an ice age.
On the other hand, the [redacted] job at the university that was kind of half-earmarked for me by the head of that division finally came around and they emailed me about a second interview literally one minute after I emailed them and said I'd taken another job. Did I do the right thing? Is this a good choice? Is it bad or just scary??? I DON'T KNOW!!
On the one hand, I have already made a decision and sent it to the Provost and ordered new office equipment and re-assigned my advisees. On the other hand, should I have held out for something different rather than taking the (very good and extremely appealing) first offer I got? (I wouldn't have taken it if it didn't seem good; my contract at the university had two more years to run and also I am not new here.) On the first hand again, the uncertainty was extremely trying to live with and getting rejected over and over and over from jobs was actually pretty disheartening.
And then again: well paid new job! What on earth do I have to complain about???
Anyhow, I'm not going to change my mind or anything, I'm just going to have a lot of incomprehensible feelings about it for the next three weeks until my new job starts.
P.S. I read this book at a formative age and therefore I both asked for and got 10% more money than they initially offered, so yay.
Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteI beg to differ, but your emotional reaction is not that difficult to interpret. You realize, logically, this new job has many benefits that outweigh the negatives. However, change is BAD and SCARY and you legitimately have feelings about that. If possible, take some time to feel the feelings. I hear some people journal these things. Good luck. It can be mortifying to be reminded that we're fragile emotional creatures instead of logic bots. I sympathize.
ReplyDeleteI was mostly joking; I think it's pretty clear why I feel conflicted :)
DeleteWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDH has never regretted leaving academia and his first non-academic job was 2x the salary of his academic job.
Congratulations!
I think once it starts it'll be great but the anticipation is killing me! So much better everything. Especially money.
DeleteI underestimated how nice it was to have that much more money. I hope you find that you've underestimated too!
DeleteCongratulations! Change is always scary, even if for the better. I'm really questioning my decision to stay in academia (for the time being), especially since more $ would be nice.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! Here's to the next chapter!
ReplyDelete