Spouse: "A question. Colleague and I are writing a grant with Former Colleague. If I put in that we'll fly down for a meeting, will that be okay?"
Me: "Why can't Former Colleague fly here?"
Spouse: "It would complicate her childcare arrangements and she says her spouse can't do it alone."
Me: "How many kids do they have?!? How old?"
Spouse: "One. The kid is three."
Me: "So because this woman's male spouse can't take care of one kid, alone, for two nights, you're asking ME, your FEMALE spouse, to take care of THREE kids alone for two nights? How EXACTLY is this okay?"
Spouse: "....."
Me: "Have you asked her if she can, instead, find a spouse who doesn't suck?"
UGH.
ReplyDeleteI'll do it - I don't think he can make "dump your terrible husband" a condition of grant-writing - but I will be pissed off at this woman's terrible husband. (I realize there's some chance that LIKE ME he's chronically ill or disabled or something but she didn't say any of that, just, he can't watch our kid alone. Whaaaaat.)
DeleteSort of makes you wonder though, doesn't it? What kind of world do we live in if a father feels incapable of (or is prevented by job etc from) taking care of his child for a bit so his wife can do her job? So much for equal opportunities...
DeleteHe could probably take time off! Or unpaid leave! Or a whole host of things.
DeleteWhen Bug was little Dr. S and I both worked part-time for a few months and his boss was super mad and unaccommodating. (Of course, that was 9 years ago.) More progress is definitely needed.