Monday, March 21, 2016

FMB: Jobs

My older children are upstairs trying to murder each other and Sweetpea has taken to climbing on things and then walking off the edge.  So!  Five minutes, GO!

I have gotten to a point where I hate (HATE) being home all the time with the children.  Naturally, everyone is on spring break for ten days.  I mostly hate the bad parts: the hungry, miserable behavior (eat a damn carrot, child, and stop losing your tiny mind); the screaming; the necessity of keeping everyone so quiet for multiple hours a day so the baby can sleep.  The necessity of my entire life revolving around Nap Jail!  The way everyone falls apart when The Schedule is not rigidly observed!  I hate being someone with a schedule in stone, and yet, when we deviate, I get so anxious, because I just KNOW the Scream Train is coming. I don't like the person I am and I am bored and lonely and tired of this.

(Did I mention the screaming?)

I feel like I spend my entire day doing things I find unrewarding, and which feel entirely unvalued.  Example: I make the children's favorite dinner, and they whine and argue for 30 minutes.

I also feel like I am tired of being money-pinched and I want a job that pays me money so I can afford to not be with my children.  And I am beginning to feel anxious about the future/ retirement funds/ taking care of aging parents/ my lack of a career.

(Five minutes are up and someone is - wait for it- screaming.)

Next time on FMB: Looking For Jobs, Which Gives Me Hives, Also Did I Mention There Are No Jobs Here?  (Please don't tell me there are jobs.  There are only 7000 people, I regret everything.)


  1. Yep. I love my kids but I can't be with them all the time. I simply want a job that pays me enough to outsource child care & cleanings while still letting me save for retirement.

    1. I mean, I even have a job, just not ENOUGH of one nd everything is terrible.


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