Wednesday, January 06, 2016

Posts I Haven't Written

[A Subset of Right-Wing Christian] Homeschoolers' Horrible Children, and Why [This Subset Is] So Horrible

My Baby Nearly Got Chickenpox, Vaccinate Your Fucking Kids

Drink a Glass of Wine Already, Nursing Mom (Subtitle: MATH)

The Frustrating Inaccuracy of Allergy Testing (Especially in Kids)

The Goddamn Deer Ate My Rhododendrons, WHAT

FOUR: A Case Study in Frustration and Screaming

Why Kids Lie: Because They Can and Are Little Sociopaths

HPMOR: I Can't Believe It Took Me This Long to Read It

Baby, Stop Biting My Knee

And you?

8 comments:

  1. Anonymous4:21 PM

    Can I read "FOUR: A Case Study in Frustration and Screaming"?

    Cause that brilliant melt-down Gwen had at my sister's place can only partially (about 85-90%) be attributed to the end of 10 days of overexcitement, overstimulation, undersleep, and jetlag.

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    Replies
    1. "We find that four year olds can present the appearance of rationality only when adequately nourished and slept. Unfortunately, the underlying instability and persistent magical thinking frequently interferes with maintenance of basal stability. These developmental stages manifest as what appear to be extreme mood swings, under the slightest of provocations; sudden transition from optimal to unstable states; and the repetition of demands and inquiries, in a way that would be characterized as abusive gaslighting were an adult to behave in the same manner. Four year olds possess an extremely egocentric view of the world, which leads to physical and vocal lashing out when the world does not conform to their expectations. In the case of the four year old in question ("N", age four and three months, male, otherwise typically developing), the lack of articulation leads to daily episodes of increasingly manic behavior, which terminates only when the child is coerced into a nap. His strong will interacts badly with the fundamental emotional instability, leading to recurrent episodes of toileting-related accidents. We observe that the main caregiver (parent, female, age 34) becomes increasingly frustrated with these incidents and, counterproductively, reacts with increasing volume. The four year old also responds impulsively to both older ("D", male, 6 years and 10 months) and younger ("L", female, 12 months) siblings, with physical aggression being common. The caregiver parent has been heard desiring alcoholic beverages, as a coping mechanism, as early as 9 AM."

      Delete
  2. I went to exercise at my Mormon friend's house (because she homeschools her 6 children and really can't come to mine). I walked in and she was holding down her screaming little boy while he was crying, trying to hit, and saying, "Let me go or I'm going to hurt you." I thought, "This is so familiar... oh, yes. C1 was 4 when he last had that kind of tantrum." Her boy hasn't been sleeping well, he'd just been moved into the same room as the toddler, who doesn't sleep through the night. Also, he was super hungry because he'd refused lunch. In C1's case, 95% of tantrums were sleep and food related. After a PB&J, her little boy no longer sounded like a possessed child, and before he ran off to play, gave her a hug and said he loved his mommy. Kids! Sometimes their frontal cortex just shuts down.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would NEVER hold my child down!
      ... ha ha ha, this happens every day.

      (Eat your damn lunch, child. All the children. Bug still does this when he doesn't eat lunch at school - due to distraction, mainly - and the MELTDOWNS ARE EPIC.)

      Delete
  3. Oh man, I want to read so many of those. With a nice alcoholic beverage, while I nurse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Here, have two. I made a nice cinnamon brandy toddy just for you.

      Delete
  4. Oh yes. Four and inadequate sleep/food. Deadly. I threw a six when playing ludo today. The world nearly ended.

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    Replies
    1. Tatoe also has a mild articulation delay and I legit don't understand him about 30% of the time and WRATH. Four! Aaargh!

      Delete

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