Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Week of Peevishness 3

Bad Weddings Bingo!

Bride cries
Inappropriate toasts
Drunk uncle
Three people who aren't on speaking terms
You wish something would catch fire
FREE SPACE: Mother cries
Ambulance is involved
Run out of liquor
After the wedding you aren't on speaking terms with the bride
 Inappropriately dressed guest
Dog eats something
Something spills everywhere
 So much liquor you couldn't possibly run out
Someone gets lost
Officiant offends everyone
You can't eat anything
 Mother loses it
Small child loses it
Officiant offends you
Inappropriately dressed bride
Bride cries with rage
Ring bearer won't
 Something catches fire
 Someone starts an argument

 (I have this as a PDF and will add the link one of these days. Current I am off at the wedding. Pray for me, dear readers, to the deity-of-patience of your choice.)

 Your turn! Favorite bingo-worthy family moments? Additions to a bingo card of Horrible Family Events?


  1. Now I want to go to a wedding.

  2. Everyone eaten alive by mosquitoes. Bride reveals she slept with the hotel doorman the night before. (TRUE EXPERIENCE) And I know you've got bad toasts covered, but there's something extra special about the father of the bride making a deeply misogynistic, insultingly infantilizing toast about his daughter.

  3. oh I have a few choice ones, from my own wedding.
    (Adult) Guest (ideally, but not necessarily, a sister of the bride) pees on the dancefloor (admittedly a sand dancefloor, but still);
    Two guests, who arrived with partners, make out with each other on the dancefloor (a different one to the wee-sodden one), in full view of their partners;
    Oh, those two guests are both women;
    Male guest sexually assaults basically everybody, including bride, bride's mother, one of the newly-lesbian guests. Said male guest's wife throws her wedding ring at him after he stands there, talking to her, WHILE HE HAS HIS HAND DOWN ANOTHER WOMAN'S PANTS.
    Gate-crashers - in full wedding attire - arrive.
    Gatecrashers removed, and start to curse the bride and groom. (Apparently they have been invited "by another guest". They later spend about a year slagging off the bride and groom to all and sundry, even tho they have never met them.)
    Guests vomit during wedding ceremony from hangover from previous night's party
    Guest is hospitalised from over-partying.
    Bride and groom consummate marriage on their wedding night. (hahahaha, of course I made that one up)

    Do I win something?

    1. No wonder you moved to a whole different country.

    2. Jenny F Scientist8:52 AM

      You TOTALLY get bingo. I think the prize is leftover wedding pie and all the coffee yoiu can drink. :-)

  4. At our wedding someone gave a toast about divorce rates. Still not sure why... but it's the one toast people still remember.


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