Monday, December 16, 2013

Dear Well-Meaning Christian People of Rural Virginia,

No, I do not have a Christmas tree.  I am thinking of replying "Do you celebrate Eid al-Fitr?"  Except I feel the need to be a cheerful ambassador of Judaism to the ignorant and thoughtless.

No, you morons, I do not celebrate the miraculous birth of your religion's savior-figure. I never have and I never will.

(What I actually say is "No, we don't celebrate Christmas at all.  But we do like the lights!" Sometimes when people ask this they are asking what flavor of Jewish household one has with one's not-Jewish spouse. However, I assure you that this is not the question here.  Most of them sincerely don't see why I shouldn't have a Christmas tree.  SIGH.)


  1. Gah! That's needlessly obtuse. Granted, I have stuck my foot in my mouth recently. (I asked someone if they had fun plans for Christmas and they replied that they are Jewish. I apologized and turned red. I've learned my lesson and now ask people if they have fun plans for the "free" leave time. The university makes us take 5 days off between the 26th and the 31st.)

    1. Oh, people ask me that all the time. It doesn't bother me - it *is* a national holiday so most people have the day off. "Oh, we're Jewish; I'm going to go get takeout" is a perfectly reasonable answer and has nothing to do with religion. It's only the people who know I'm Jewish and STILL ask about trees. Or Easter bunnies. Or...

    2. I generally try to remember these things, but I'm not sure if she had told me previously or not. My memory is not my strong suit these days. Generally, it doesn't come up.

      Honestly, I don't get the focus on the tree. I get asking about plans or seeking commiseration on the gift buying aspect. But it's not even originally a Christian thing. There wasn't an abundance of Douglas Firs around the manger.

    3. Because easter bunnies are so Christian... It's really odd if they keep asking despite knowing you're not Christian though.

    4. Douglas firs in Bethlehem! Now there's a fantastic idea!

  2. Before starting a show on Netflix, we caught a few minutes of Sharktank. (Rich people invest in "inventor's" ideas.) Someone was trying to sell Jewish tree toppers, like a Star of David for the top of a Christmas tree. It was horrible. People should know better.


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