Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Let's Play 'Sexist Ninny Bingo'!!!

(Also known by a less polite name.)

Scene: Belle is in the offices of her Department of Hermeneutic Predicative Poststructuralism.* Two male graduate students- hereafter Sexist Ninnies 1 and 2- are in the lounge.

SN1: Yeah, so Arla is out on maternity leave now. I guess she took a year off.
SN2: Did you hear? The chick they hired to take her classes was pregnant too. She had to leave before the end of the semester.
Belle: [Thinks: Maybe the baby was early! You idiots.]

SN1: That is sooooo unfair. I mean, she should have told them. It was so inconvenient for the department!
Belle: [Tell them? So they could not hire her? Inconvenient??? You idiots.]

SN2: Or she shouldn't have taken the job.
SN1: Yeah, it's already so hard for men to get jobs in Hermeneutics, Poststructuralism, and Predication. The departments always want to hire a woman.
Belle: [No, there are more female PhDs in HPP. You idiots.]

SN2: I can't imagine how hard it's going to be for us to get jobs.
SN1: It's so hard to be a man in this field.
Belle: [There are seven tenured profs here and ONE is a woman! You idiots!]

Fade to the sound of a head banging against the copier.

How many squares can we fill in here? Let's see:
  • Pregnancies must be scheduled for the academic calendar.
  • It's okay to discriminate against pregnant women.
  • It's too, too inconvenient to accomodate biology.
  • Pregnancies are always on purpose.
  • Babies can be precisely timed to two days after finals.
  • Maternity leave is like vacation.
  • Men are so discriminated against in the academic market.
  • Departments with more than 50% women can't be objective.
  • Statistics are totally over-rated.
With a possibility of:
  • Men get ahead/tenure because they're better/more qualified/their organs really help with Hermeneutical Stuff.
  • Women are only hired for 'diversity'.
  • 'Diversity' hires are less qualified.
  • Women want preference, not an equal playing field.
  • If a department has a woman or two, why does it need more?
  • Women do too get tenure, lots. I know one!
Any ones I missed here?

Advisor in lab meeting: 'I just sent Ruth [who had a C-section 24 hours ago] back her paper- we need to get it out soon. I'm sure she'll be able to read it right away. There's really nothing to do the first few weeks anyways!'
Us, in the background: Major surgery... newborn... yep, that screams 'editing figure legends' to me!

*Belle dear, I hope you don't mind me relating this story all anonymous-like and liberally interpreted. It was too good to pass up.