Monday, February 29, 2016

Things the baby is mad I won't let her do, a partial list

Eat gravel.
Break glass on the tile floor.
Shred my students' papers.
Hit her brothers in the head.
Kick me in the face while nursing.
Choke on raisins.
Jump off the coffee table.
Stick knives in electrical outlets.
Bite my nipples while yanking her head back.
Fall in the creek.
Go outdoors alone. 



4 comments:

  1. Anonymous6:33 AM

    Wow, aren't you a mean and awful mother?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SO mean. Today I would also not let her run into the street or fall down a steep hill INTO the creek.

      Delete
  2. SUCH A TYRANT. So far I've only got "nurse at 4:30 am" and "be picked up and cuddled when mama wants to fuck around on the internet", but she's only 4 months old.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous7:43 AM

    She has SB's sympathy. Mean mommy here, too. SB has a phase after being sick where she's angry most of the time and freaks out at the slightest provocation, change in plan, disturbance in the force etc. There's a lot of full-on screaming around here. It's slightly exhausting... and at the same time I feel sorry for her, I just don't know how to help her.

    ReplyDelete

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