Friday, February 26, 2016

How to Lose Weight

Have a sick baby who nurses six hours a day for two weeks.

Be allergic to practically everything. 

Leave your dinner on the stove.  Go nurse cranky baby, leaving cranky older children with extremely cranky spouse.  Do not say to spouse 'Please turn this off soon' because he is a grown-ass human.

Return an hour later to a burnt, inedible pot of mush.  Eat one baked-oatmeal muffin and half a red pepper for dinner. Go to bed hungry. 



  1. Well, bless his heart... I want to send you food now. I made a baked oatmeal dish that I think you could actually eat. Wait, no, it had buttermilk. Boo.

    I hope soon all the illness is over, and you can eat more food. You totally didn't need to lose weight.

    1. Maybe ten pounds of baby weight. But dinner would have been nice.

  2. SIGH. This sounds very effective, but like one of those plans that I'd never have the willpower to stick with.


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