Tuesday, June 16, 2015

People Keep Asking If I'm Enjoying the Summer

Dear Readers, my sweet children are driving me INSANE.  (No.  Daily average of four hours screaming.) Also, we were going to have AC put in, but instead we are having some unexpectedly-leaning trees removed, and it is over 80 degrees in my house by 9 every morning.

Tatoe is being forcibly potty trained.  He will be four in four months.  He is perfectly capable of doing his business in the potty- witness the epic battle of wills he had with my mother, wherein he spent three hours in the bathroom NOT pooping in the damn potty, but also tried to poop on the floor four times BUT DIDN'T upon being told he had to go in the potty.  He doesn't want to.  I have tried EVERYTHING.  Bribes, charts, rewards hung from the bathroom light, 'only big boys get to' (practically everything including leave the house), prunes, chocolate, special underwear, sitting on it for the usual pooping hour, pantslessness (this resulted in SIX incidents of me cleaning toddler shit off of practically everything, so NO, unless I get to put him in a toddler cage first) and all of the above at the same time.... you name it.  He doesn't want to.

I would let it go except what happens now is, every morning he does his business in his diaper and I have to change all his clothes and give him a BATH.  EVERY MORNING. While the baby screams and Bug loses it, usually.  This is even worse than the 20 minutes of wailing as Mandatory Potty Time starts.  Does it always have to be a choice between bad and worse?  Can't we have okay and better, sometimes?

I am seriously considering if someone I know will take him and potty train him while I watch their child(ren) for a week.  Because I am going to lose. MY.  MIND.

I know he'll figure this out before he goes to college but SO HELP ME 8 AM is too early to start drinking.


  1. Anonymous2:36 PM

    It's a Tatoe thing, I guess. Our Tatoe is less than two weeks from turning 4 and still will not have anything to do with the potty. I am getting sick of him following me to the bathroom just to tell me, "Mommy Pana, if you wore diapers, you would never have to stop playing! Potty is stupid!"

  2. Oh dear, that really is enough to drive anyone over the edge. I have no words of wisdom, or even helpful suggestions, as it was one thing (there had to be ONE!) that wasn't a battle with LittleBear. On the other hand, I do keep having to clean cat shit out of the carpet, and there's definitely no hope of potty training him...

  3. You have my complete and utter sympathy. Children are monsters.

  4. lifeisnichtsimal10:33 PM

    if you figure out this toilet training thing let me know. the 2 almost 4 year olds here demand nighttime diapers to poop in. except the one who sometimes poops in the toilet. except when he refuses.
    the last attempt to take away diapers for pooping resulted in the particularly stubborn one spending the night in the chiildrens hospital because he managed to hold it all in so much that he was in pain and vomiting. so yeah, ive got nothing.

  5. Anonymous1:31 AM

    What a jerk. :( Have you tried making him help with the clean-up?


  6. Oh goodness. Sympathies. Boys do love their diapers, dirty little feckers.

  7. Ugh...toilet training has been the most frustrating and angering experience I have had as a parent thus far. I'm hoping it will go better the second time around, but C's so head strong I have a feeling it will be battle after battle with him (like sleeping and eating are now).

    No advice, obviously, but if it makes you feel better, I'm hating parenting life right now too :S

  8. Daily doses of Miralax so he can't hold it in? Of course, that might backfire in the cleaning-up-messes department. Good luck.


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