- FIRE has not killed my mastitis/ recurrent blocked duct/ milk blister/ painful everything that gets better with antibiotics.
- Urgent Care in Next Town Over is very willing to dispense antibiotics, though! (Mountain Town does not have an urgent care, which would cost me $15. The emergency room costs $300 and up. It is worth $285 to me to drive 45 minutes, plus we have friends in Next Town Over, whom we visit.)
- I have an appointment at Big University's breastfeeding medicine program on Wednesday. It is an hour and a half away.
- I have a cunning plan, which includes never talking to my mother about this again. She told me I was 'acting crazy'. And here I thought I was dealing with severe pain from a recurring and ongoing medical problem! And was upset largely in proportion to how much it sucks!
- The rest of my cunning plan involves my pal who runs a state-licensed, inspected goat dairy. I could buy goat milk! (Pasteurized goat milk.) And give it to the baby! (With appropriate vitamins and additives.)
- If I can nurse her ten more weeks, she'll be six months old, and I will feel less terrible about weaning her, antibiotics or not.
- I realize I could wean her now but I don't want to for all kinds of perverse and emotional reasons. Also, because my family is Allergic To Everything (TM), I have serious concerns about dairy or soy before six months. (This week, my sister Prudence ended up in the emergency room, post Epi-Pen, after eating something with a tiny amount of dairy in it.)
- My neighbor just had her baby - at a hospital with a 25% primary C-section rate - by C-section. Guess whether all those people really need a C-section? Yeah. Nope.
- They apparently also suck at breastfeeding advice. Helpful hint: telling someone to supplement with formula at two days postpartum is usually inappropriate and completely counterproductive.
Monday, April 20, 2015
FMB: Various Kinds of Woe
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The last bullet point certainly gave me flashbacks to having a supplemental nursing system forced on me at two days postpartum. I was so desperate to get out of the fucking hospital and afraid they wouldn't let me leeeeeeeeeeeeeave. God, such IDIOCY.
ReplyDeleteAhem. I think you have excellent reasons for not wanting to wean, in addition to the EMOTIONS. It just makes me SAD to think of the endless suffering, the kind of suffering that everyone expects you to minimize and tough out. I guess, just, you know, in case you need someone to say it and everyone else is too respectful of your decisions: she WILL be okay whenever you choose to wean, whether it's now or a year from now. I hope and pray that the breastfeeding doc saves you. (I still remember the way the doc I met with looked me in the eye and said "I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time." OMG, validation!) You're heroic, you know that?
Thank you. :) Mostly everyone is like "Jesus, why haven't you weaned her already?" and I'm all like "For REASONS. But not necessarily good ones. Leave me alone."
DeleteFortunately Prudence is a nurse, and so the ER was... right downstairs. And certainly we were breastfed exclusively for more than 6 months so probably it makes no difference, but the constraint it places on one's everyday life to not eat anything, anywhere, ever, is pretty big. I'd like to think I'm able to influence that even though I'm pretty sure I can't.
This hospital is... what's the word? Oh, yes. Stupid. I think they were confused and frightened and so they just took it- when they left after 3.5 days the baby hadn't lost ANY weight so that tells me the formula was rather de trop. Her milk finally came in - it took five days because of the hospital's crappy advice... sigh. I'm just used to the average competence and respect level being a LOT higher. (I had to threaten - well, I asked the nurses loudly but very politely how - to sign the baby out AMA, to be 'allowed' to leave after 28 hours. With my THIRD. CHILD. My healthy child.)
I think heroic and too stubborn to be smart may be indistinguishable in this case.
She's your baby, and you're doing what you think, feel and believe to be best. And you're smart enough that your version of "best" is well-informed as well as loving, so you're not going to go far wrong, no matter what.
ReplyDeleteSupplemental formula at two days?! Before the mother's milk has come in? That's just f***ing stupid. Makes me really quite cross.
Meanwhile, I have to ask, what does "FMB" stand for? I tried googling and wished I hadn't!
Five minute blogging! I'm sorry if the internet suggests something, er, dodgy. I write for five minutes and click publish regardless.
DeleteDoh! Of course it is. I knew that really, but LittleBear has limited my sleep lately so I'm a bit fuzzy round the edges. Thank you :)
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