Tuesday, November 04, 2014

In-Laws

Said they would come in November for the Pseudo-Military U Special Parade (same parade as they have every week, but with... more people?) so they could celebrate Tatoe's birthday, which happened last week.

Are they coming?  Of course they're not.  My MIL decided to go to some local quilting thing.  Or maybe they couldn't find somewhere to stay because it's a Special! Parade! Weekend!   Or maybe it's because my MIL went to the doctor and is now having a mildly worrisome Thing (she once drove to Alabama with sepsis for my brother-in-law's tenth (I am not making this up) pilot graduation ceremony.  Or maybe their niece quarrelled with her sister about dog-sitting her sister's dog again so they couldn't possibly ask the niece to watch their dog (I am not making this up either; this was their excuse once; once it was, seriously, that it might SNOW.  It.  Might.  Snow.).

For bonus points, Dr. S mentioned this in front of Bug, who cried.

Let's ignore the part where their only two grandchildren are waaaay less important than a stupid parade which happens every week and twice some weeks.  Let's ignore the part where Dr. S and I have a combined total of two jobs and two small children, and they have no jobs and no small children.  Let's ignore how there is no way in hell we can go there for any of the nobody's-working holidays because I am due December 30th.  I'd just like to say that I refrained from saying anything snarky about how clearly superior my parents are.

Anyhow, my point is, I am over caring even one tiny little bit if they have a relationship with my kids, who have two other grandparents who love them enough to actually come see them.  Dr. S still tries to take the kids up there to see his parents at least a couple times a year, and I understand his motivations, but the road runs BOTH WAYS.  Also, it irritates me to no end that they cause my spouse so much heartburn, disappointment, and grief.

12 comments:

  1. I hate your in laws. They made Big cry. That said, one pair of grandparents I knew, the other I didn't, and I did not particularly care. So I'm hoping it's harder on you and Dr. S than on the kids.

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    1. I hope you're right. It's true that Bug and Tatoe both think Grandpa means my dad, since they see him, oh, every couple weeks. He'll stop by for lunch on his way to and from other places. My mom came down for a baby shower the other week and did crafts with them. I guess I didn't know my CA relatives that well and it didn't bother me so much... here's hoping.

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  2. I'm with bunny on this one. They suck.

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    1. Pretty much. It's one thing to be kind of crazy but INVOLVED (not that, to read about it, you would know anything about that!!) and another to just check out.

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  3. wolry9:16 AM

    None of my kids' many, many grandparents (mom, step dad, dad, step mom, FIL, step MIL, step FIL) show any interest in them. They don't give excuses for not visiting. They just never visit.

    The only one who gets a pass from me is MIL. And that's cause she's been dead since 1989.

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    1. "And that's cause she's been dead since 1989." A most valid reason indeed. It just baffles me. I'm pretty close to my family and I can only imagine not being part of their lives, from the little things (my dad brings me bread yeast and fruit) to the big things (we go see them for all kinds of events/ holidays/ just to hang out).

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  4. $&@%#€£¥ in-laws! Poor Bug and Dr. S., who love these crazy people despite their complete lack of concern for others. I have no advice, only sympathy.

    At least my crazy in-laws appear to care for my children (well, not FIL, his spoiled dog and even-more-spoiled nephews rank higher for him). As a side note, we survived a weekend at the Dells with them! No screaming, crying, or hissy fits on the part of any adult. It's a win.

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    1. Poor Bug and mostly poor Dr. S, who has to deal with them the most.

      Your FIL is a medium-low functioning sociopath as far as I can tell, but congratulations on surviving (again) without any large people throwing themselves on the ground and shrieking. The kids at least have an excuse.

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  5. Ah inlaws. One of mine (they are no longer married) has yet to meet his only grand kids at all ever because of reasons I don't totally understand (yes it's a far trip and there are a few complications but still, more than 3 years later??)

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    1. Your FIL clearly wins the WTF prize. At least it's... farther? I just don't understand though. It's like they (mine and yours) all think it has to be one-way contribution. ERRRRGH.

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    2. The extra weird thing is that the man actually loves little kids!? Maybe the fear of the trip thing is bigger than I realize. Who knows. Mostly i feel bad for my husband because it can't be nice to have him not want to come (unlike when my mil comes and I feel bad for me becuse I have to deal with her. Ha. In laws, you can't win. But there are benefits to the far away)

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  6. I'm mainly sorry for Mr. S. It's hard when you family screws up but you still love them and want to stand up for them. Especially if that happens again and again. We have some tricky situations in my family, and even though in this case I understand where people come from / why they behave as they do, could they just get their act together? Apparently not.
    As for the kids, I'm hoping it is like bunny said - they'll grow up knowing the situation as for what it is, and not be too bothered by the lack of interest by some.

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