People keep asking me about breastfeeding and then giving me That Look if/when I explain that one round of mastitis = We. Will. Be. Done.
People also keep asking if I'm planning to go to LLL meetings. Maybe? If things work out okay? Because I WILL hit the first person who suggests echinacea. I don't feel like I need support. (If other people want suggestions about tongue ties, thrush, bad latch, pumping, or multi-drug-resistant mastitis, however, I'm their woman. Ye gods, what an assortment of bad luck.)
As it happens, I've nursed my children for a combined total of 30 months. But if I had nursed them for a combined total of 30 minutes, it shouldn't matter.
There's still a part of me, though, that feels that doctors' general lack of breastfeeding knowledge and support is a big obstacle (though not as much as the fact that nursing hurts and is kind of terrible even when it's great). Just think how little the average MD knows about drug safety in nursing. If women are getting bad advice, then I'm all for support. But I'm also all for acknowledging that parents have needs too and sometimes those needs are incompatible with breastfeeding. This whole ethic of "if you loved your baby enough/ wanted to do the best thing, you'd breastfeed" makes me feel squidgy all over.
This whole ethic of "if you loved your baby enough/ wanted to do the best thing, you'd breastfeed" makes me feel squidgy all over.
ReplyDeleteYes. I loved my baby enough and wanted to do the best thing to stop nursing around 2.5 weeks when I realized that gearing up for it was making both of us cry every time.
I kind of hate the whole "if you loved your baby enough/ wanted to do the best thing, you'd breastfeed" thing. I get that it doesn't come from a bad place, and that there are real issues like you say in lack of knowledge/support but then overdoing it the other way has its own issues. How to give people exactly the right amount of information/support/encouragement without overdoing it = hard, especially when you try to reach people with soundbites. There is one amazing LLL leader in town who is a trained lactation consultant etc and when you hear her talk she is actually way less militant breast-y than the mothers or leaders with less experience/training.
ReplyDeleteIts great support for people who need it, but on the other hand it can come out as - i have to justify to you why im not doing this, to people who dont.
Weirdly I got less obsessed with nursing after having done it for 2 and a half years. It seemed like OMG the thing I must do and in hindsight it seems way less important. Maybe being on the other side of having done it a few times gives you that perspective to. I do not htink you should go to the meetings!
OMG, why is *anyone* asking you about breastfeeding? Although, come to think of it, I have strong feelings about you breastfeeding. They are that you should stop immediately if you get mastitis.
ReplyDeleteI see that our two hearts beat as one on this subject.
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