Much like all spouses or partners, mine drives me completely up the wall sometimes. For example... now.
I am leaving in nine days. Of ALL the moving things - including utilities, mail forwarding, finding preschool for Bug, selling/ giving away stuff, moving arrangements, movers for the moving arrangements, storage for the fucking moving arrangements (thanks again, R and C!), telephones, new-hire paperwork, transfer of medical records, banking, realtors, house-selling, AND SO ON, my spouse has done exactly two: he found us somewhere to live (faculty housing owned by the university), and watched the kids while I cleaned (and cleaned and cleaned and cleaned).
It's fine. I'm better at things involving a bazillion small details. He has a job, so I took care of it. I have the kids, who haven't suffered at all while I dealt with all these things, and who aren't feeling neglected one bit.
(Bug has now been whining and/or screaming for two hours straight. I've only been awake for two hours. Dear small child: shut the fuck up.)
However, the relentlessly negative attitude is starting to grate. I am, of course, a ray of cheerful sunshine at all times. But the negativity! About all things moving-related! "The house won't sell in a month. No way." (Full-price offer in four DAYS.) "No way the movers will come pick stuff up from storage. They'll whine and complain." (They said no problem, meet you there.) "We can't make it to the bank and to work in time." (We could have FUCKING TRIED, because, you know, it only took 45 minutes with both children in tow, which I did to make his life easier and most decidedly not because "open bank account with two screaming/fighting children" was, in any way, fun.)
Anyhow. I may be feeling annoyed, irritated, and underappreciated. Just A LITTLE TINY BIT.
Ugh - sounds super frustrating! Hopefully it will get better once you've moved?
ReplyDeleteThat's a ton that you've accomplished! Is it too much to hope that he's paralyzed by so much change and will quickly get into gear once the move is over? I've got my fingers crossed that he's just channeling his inner 2 yr old.
ReplyDeleteMy inner two-year-old, of course, NEVER comes out. Especially not this morning. And of course I'm super easy to live with and not irritating at all. Right? I hope that this being OVER makes everything better. Otherwise I'm joining the fucking circus.
DeleteArgh. I'd be irritated, too. It all sounds familiar (well, minus the screaming kids, which I'm sure don't help). Hope things get better after the move.
ReplyDeleteOh, hang in there! Moving just sucks, doesn't it? Call me anytime if you want to let off steam. Wish I were there to help!
ReplyDeleteThanks - I will! It's probably for the best if no-one gets between me and the spouse though.
DeleteOh, I wouldn't get between you and the spouse. I'd just take Bug and Tatoe somewhere far away, where you wouldn't have to hear them for at least a few hours. (You'd forgive me, though, if I brought ear plugs?)
DeleteMay this epoch in your life soon be over!
!אֵֽשֶׁת חַֽיִל מִי יִמְצָא
Delete(I would lend you the heavy-duty earmuffs!)
Belle, they are extraordinarily well-behaved children for people other than their parents. (Well, except Tatoe's separation anxiety. Toys with buttons, lights, and sounds generally distract him. At least the irritating toys from the in-laws are good for something?) Something about, they feel so safe and loved by their parents they're free to behave like little monsters... So it's a good sign! Children developing normally! So. Not. Comforting.
DeleteI am certain the spouse will be more reasonable after the move. Because, really, he'd better not get any worse.
The children, unfortunately, will probably be out of sorts for at least a week after the move. So, your mom wants to watch them for a week, right? :)
I feel stressed and irritated just reading about you moving and selling your house. Hang in there. Moving blows.
ReplyDeleteIt's the WORST! I did have some fantastic helpers including Nicole who is an awesome house-seller. But at least it'll be over soooooooon.
DeleteI'm pretty pissed at your spouse right now. And you know what I struggle with? The part where you say he has a job so you should take on all this crap. Because you HAVE A JOB TOO.
ReplyDeleteOf course, you are a strong, smart, and effective woman, so this must be the arrangement you want. So I'll withdraw my ire.
Well, the longer version is 'he's trying to wrap up a very long, complicated, and expensive experiment which actually he really couldn't do before now, and for very complicated reasons he has to do it right now, and he's actually terrible at this sort of thing anyways so usually I do it and he does all the other things in life I hate, including our taxes, and mostly I deal with this stuff now because the person who is home-during-business-hours is me'. I should add that he never said, I have a job, you take care of it, I just thought we'd all end up happier in the END that way. We are not at the end yet, and therefore I am very unhappy. We did both wrestle with phone service last night! Together! Thrilling marital activities! Not.
DeleteHowever, much like 'the cook washes not', the person not MAKING the arrangements doesn't get to COMPLAIN about them.
Also paid work is looking better and better right now.