Friday, August 22, 2008

Guaranteed to Raise Your Blood Pressure, Every Time

Look, kids! Stupid people still think vaccines cause autism! And their kids are getting a serious, potentially fatal, sends-you-to-hospital, totally preventable disease! Because now it's not the mercury, oh no, it's the immune challenge. Vaccines give you a fever! An unnatural fever! Then you get autism! Because little kids never get high fevers otherwise, oh no!



Baby also, I forgot to mention, measured exactly the right size. I have been mandatorily tested for a bunch of things I don't have. Including syphilis! And Rh antibodies. I am O+. Dr. S is O-. Ummmm....


Conversation with Dr. S:

Me: We could hire movers. I think I can go up stairs carrying stuff maybe three times in a day. And then I'll need a nap.
Dr. S: I can handle it! It's not that much stuff.
Me: Fine.

Next day:

Dr. S: Wait.... there's going to be heavy furniture to carry, right?
Me: Yes. Like that couch. And a bed. And chairs.
Dr. S: You didn't mention furniture!
Me: I thought you knew. You did know.
Dr. S: Maybe we could hire movers.
Me: Sigh.

(We're both a little stressed. He's usually not like this.)