The electrician has come, o glory glory! After two hours involving wires, screws, and a lot of breaker flipping, he figured out that [some 'leg' metal thingy] was bad and [something about an outlet] had a [something with a wire] and [something I didn't catch].
But we have power. Boy, is it nice to run the coffeemaker and the fan at the same time.
In my next life, I'm totally going to be an electrician. Or a plumber.
