Your spouse of one month gets two postdoc offers at [Top Labs in X] in Cities A and C, and wants to go to A. Do you:
- Apply for postdocs only in City B, 5 hours away, where there are no top labs in X and where your spouse has no offer?
- Apply for postdocs only in City B and in City C? (You both hate the labs in C.)
- Apply for postdocs in all 3 cities, and go to City B?
- Compromise like a reasonable human?
Your spouse's family is having a big party this weekend for your spouse's Nth important birthday. Your advisor, who has been traveling, wants to 'talk to you' about writing something due in six months. This weekend. All weekend. To 'talk about' this lame-o project. What is the proper response?
- Of course! I'd be delighted.
- Perhaps we could talk about it next week.
- I'll be away this weekend. Perhaps we could talk about it next week.
- Are you OUT of your MIND?
Your advisor, newly returned from sabbatical, announces a desire for you to work from Early O'Clock until Wee Hours of the Morning. Every day. For about 16 hours a day. No, really. What is the proper response?
- Of course! I'd be delighted.
- No.
- Hell, no.
- Are you OUT of your MIND?
You and your spouse of N months where N less than 12 agree that you will trade off visiting one another. Every Friday when it is your turn, you call and say:
- Oh, I'm just so busy in lab with all this important work. How about you come?
- I don't give a damn about YOUR work. How about you come?
- I'm stupid and a jerk. How about you come?
- I'll see you in a few hours.
Your spouse of N months where N less than 12 chooses (1) for all of the above. What is the proper response?
- Dear, I think we need to talk.
- Dear, I feel you're putting your work ahead of our marriage, and it's beginning to be a serious problem.
- Dear, I feel you're putting your work ahead of my life and work, and it's beginning to be a serious problem.
- Here's the number of my divorce lawyer. She'll call you Monday.
