Lately, while nursing the baby (ENDLESSLY) I've been reading Captain Awkward and, aside from giving me a Serious Complex about my parenting (am I that toxic parent? will this be my children in twenty years? then I stopped reading it) it's reinforced to me: boundaries and choices are about limits and acceptable consequences.
So I keep thinking of things to write about and then realizing I need to be honest with myself and then I will no longer have Questions other than, am I actually willing to do X? (Probably not.)
How do I respond to my crazy sister's crazy message "I haven't been stabbed! I don't know if you were worrying!"? (Don't respond. You can only think of snarky or too-honest things like "YOU DON'T SAY" and "You're an idiot, don't talk to me until you grow up some OH WAIT you weren't talking to me anyways.")
Why am I depressed? (Pain. Fatigue due to not being able to sleep due to pain. Loneliness due to no energy to do stuff due to pain. Plus a screaming, horrible four year old who deliberately wets his pants. Next stops: ENT, then M&M bribes.)
Why am I not losing the last of the baby weight? (Chocolate plus the previous.)
Am I a terrible parent? (Sometimes. Sometimes every parent is a terrible parent.)
Am I mediocre at every single thing I do? (Quite possibly. There's room for improvement.)
Is my job meaningful at all, or am I babysitting college students? (Yes.)
Will Bug ever stop whining about his homework? (Probably not. My response, by the way, is to tell him that his homework is his problem and if he doesn't want to do it he can write a note to his teacher, but I won't force him. Because I WON'T.
Would 10% more disposable income allow me to buy my way out of some things? (YES. ALL THE YES.)
Will this all get better some day? (Some day.)