Monday, April 21, 2014

In Which I Whine About Houses Yet Again.

1) The South, oh, the South.  There's this kind of convention here called "How Ladies Get People To Do Stuff By Being Sweet As Very Persistent Sugar."  I find myself doing it simply because it's the most efficient way to get stuff done.  Picture me calling several very busy contractors (some of whom flat-out turn me down because they have too much business to bother). "My husband* and I are looking to buy a house but there are some structural issues.  I know you're so busy...[other person grumbles about how busy they are and how they probably can't]... and I'm so sorry to bother you about it but we only have a week to figure all this out.  Is there any way you could come out and have a look just to give us an estimate?  I'd appreciate it so much.  How about Tuesday?  No?  Monday?  Oh, thank you, I really appreciate it."  And so on until they give in, because I will just keep going until I get what I want.

My spouse informs me that the Ohio version of this is, "I need an estimate on X.  Are you free on Tuesday?"  While I am very tired of the lengthy script above, I have strongarmed three contractors into coming out on very short notice.  If I were brusque and Northern at them, it would probably be two weeks until they slotted me in.  Really, that's just how it is.

2) The House of Endless Headaches, it transpires, has somewhere between "Hmmmm" and "Oh sweet baby Jesus" of termite and mold damage.  Here I was trying to make the responsible choice (over an older, beautiful house) and it comes and bites me on the rear.  More many-branched decision making ahead.

3) If I have to do one more round of "What Would We Decide If X Costs Y" my head may explode.

* Note that I almost always say spouse in conversation, but that is not the vernacular of the region, and do I really want to confuse people over this?  When I'm calling about construction?  NO.

4 comments:

  1. I don't like (1), but it does work and I will use it if I need to .
    On (2) and (3), I wish you luck and strong nerves. Or perhaps brandy?

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  2. Being responsible is overrated. Clearly, the universe wants you to buy the beautiful old house (and remove its lead paint, of course). Wait, perhaps that is just me.

    What are you going to do when you have no employment issues or house buying/selling/fixing complications to worry about? It'll be like floating in a pool after being crushed under a rock. I hope that time comes soon.

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  3. OH MY GOD DON'T BUY THE HOUSE WITH TERMITES AND MOLD. Sorry. I suppose it may be the very best choice, but EEEEEEEE!

    Hey man, I say treat Sugar Sweet as another tool in your toolbox. You've got the cordless electric screwdriver (I hope) and you've got Sugar. I'm just glad you've got it.

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  4. I do have a great cordless Ryobi set with an impact driver! It's like a super strong screwdriver. I like the idea of breaking that out when Saccharine doesn't work.

    We are still negotiating. It's coming down to "My way, with a huge escrow account, or RUN AWAY SCREAMING!!!"

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