(Adapted from Smitten Kitchen's recipe)
Dear Readers, do you know how I feel about insult (can't eat anything) being added to injury (dairy allergy)? I feel frickin' ticked off. However, these brownies help. You can make them gluten-free. You can make them dairyless. You could even make them vegan, though I haven't tried that yet, so caveat comestor. You can also make them from normal things that normal people have around the house, or at least from stuff you can buy at Walmart* with a minimum of inconvenience.
10 T probably-not-butter
(options: Crisco**; coconut oil, either refined, mysteriously de-coconut-flavored, or not refined, it's all the same; palm shortening, sold as Spectrum vegetable shortening, or whatever You can use oil if you have to but it tends to separate out.)
1/2 c sugar
2 T molasses
A little less than a cup of cocoa powder.
(Look, I use the Toll House brand because that's what I can buy. They taste fine. Would fancy expensive cocoa powder taste better? Probably, but...)
1/4 t salt
1/2 t vanilla extract (you can use vanilla bean past if these need to be alcohol-free for a Muslim pal)
2 large eggs (or 1/2 c hot water + 1 T ground flaxseed, or EnerG)
1/2 c flour-like substance.
(Half food-processored-oatmeal and half cornstarch; some corn flour and rice flour and cornstarch; tapioca and rice flours if you can eat those; whatever.)
Optional: 1/2 (?) c chocolate chips.
(Ghirardelli semi-sweet contain no dairy AND taste good, though not as good as the bittersweet ones which do contain milk fat, and though they have the standard 'made in a facility that processes dairy', I am super-extra-allergic to dairy and the semisweet ones are fine for me. YMMV.)
Preferably in a bowl over simmering water/ a double boiler, melt the shortening with the sugar, molasses, cocoa powder, and salt. Or you can microwave it if you have to. Beat in the eggs for about 30 seconds; it should get kind of thick. Add the vanilla extract, flour, and chocolate chips. Mix very well. Put 12 muffin papers in a muffin tin and divide the batter into 12 brownie-cupcakes. Bake at 325 F for 20-30 minutes or until you feel like they are done enough to eat. If you are using coconut oil it may bubble up around the batter in a disturbing fashion. Do not be alarmed! It will all soak back in once you take them out of the oven.
(Not recommended: All in one pan.)
* The main grocery store in these parts. I live in the hills, y'all.
** Yes, I know that Trans Fats Will Kill You; I can't eat it anyways, and it's not like one should make this every day. Trying to make this easy here.