1) We went to see one of the two child therapists. I'm not entirely sure if she'll be better than nothing.
2) More à propos, I have made an appointment for myself for one of the very few people who are all of in town, covered by my insurance, and available. When I spoke to the therapist, the words "body work" (is that one word or two?), "guided visualization", and "neurological trauma" were heard. However, what I actually want is to be less depressed, sad, and cranky all the time. So I am going to turn off my automatic reflex when I hear "And there are scientific studies!" in connection with psychology.* You know, whatever. I'll try it, and I don't want to take SSRIs again right now**, and I will make sure to take a deep breath and secure my disbelief overhead before walking in the door. Maybe it will help.
3) Yesterday Bug and Tatoe got one piece of candy each (Bug also ate a cupcake, I think) and were out of their tiny minds by lunchtime. AIIEEEEEEE.
* There are many good scientific psych studies. The ones in question do not figure among them.
** Because they give me incurable insomnia, although they are otherwise terrific.
I vividly remember last year after trick-or-treating, the children having 3 (!) pieces of candy each, and zooming around the living room until their little bodies were blurred from speed. "Why are they so crazy?" Patrick asked. Because, dear, it is Halloween and they are excited and ate sugar. I think this year, I will give them candy at the beginning of the night, and declare that it is bedtime as soon as we are done trick-or-treating. It gets dark at 6:00, and they can't tell time, so it should work out fine.
ReplyDeleteI hope the "guided visualization" works, whatever that entails. Insomnia is definitely a deal-breaking side-effect.
On the one hand, I am very happy that you are seeing someone for yourself. Not because I think you are broken or something, but because an objective person telling you that you are doing an amazing job, and that your situation is incredibly challenging, etc., could be helpful, and there might even be concrete strategies that would help. On the other hand, I am pro-therapy and yet cannot imagine suspending my disbelief to the extent that I would sign up for something called bodywork. Body work? Bo dywork? So I guess my point is, if this person cannot be guided in a way that makes her useful, don't ignore any reaction that you may have telling you it's not going to work. Also, last time I checked Pubmed, I thought THE STUDIES showed that sugar consumption does not result in hyperactivity. My interpretation was that THE STUDIES were not using kids like mine who have very little sucrose in their diets. I don't know...
ReplyDeleteIndeed, I have read the same studies that concluded sugar doesn't result in hyperactivity. I then performed my own studies on my two boys, and drew my own conclusions. My children + sugar = crazy!! And then crash. One time, I really wanted them to sleep on a long car ride. I let them eat all the sorbet they could manage and 1 hr later they were passed out in the car. Science FTW!
Delete1) Sugar and those studies: robot children? NOT MINE.
Delete2) I may steer us away from the body work, whatever that is, and she did have some less-insane things she mentioned, and she seems nice and did I mention that this is a REALLY small town? I'm hoping I can take what's useful and avoid More Medication because, although I am all for modern pharmaceuticals, I take enough already. Mostly the "wants to try other things before jumping straight to meds" is what I'm hopeful about - I know what it feels like to be depressed enough to need more medication, and this isn't it. So! Disbelief, taking a long hike.
What is with those sugar studies? Sugar makes me feel, ah, energetic, and it certainly seems to turn my child into a maniac, even in the absence of the "party excitement" we stupid parents are supposedly confusing with the sugar.
DeleteSo...I'm sure this is a totally dumb suggestion, because you're a scientist and all that and have probably done your research, but have you tried SNRIs? I spent years with serious depression and went through half a dozen SSRIs and a few atypical antipsychotics before someone throught to put me on Cymbalta. It was MAGIC. Not kidding. Everyone around me noticed. I can't recommend it/the class of medicines highly enough.
ReplyDeleteAlso, FWIW, my mother went through the same things and also found magic in Cymbalta. So maybe genetics can play a part here, both in the getting of the disorder and the treating of it.
They weren't such a big thing last time I was this depressed (yea these many years ago) so I don't think anyone suggested them (also, Snooty U had a completely crap prescription plan at the time). I will definitely keep it in mind for next time I feel the need for more medication. At present, scientist though I am, I've had enough of drugs, drug side effects, and weird biological shit for the moment! (See also: The Year Of Being Really Sick.)
DeleteI just also remembered that one SSRI made me narcoleptic rather than insomniac. Overall, not an improvement. Biology: weird.
DeleteYou and May and I should have a Skeptics In Therapy club. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteSome of THE (other) STUDIES suggest that the therapeutic relationship plays a bigger role in therapeutic change than the techniques used during therapy. So the fact that you like this therapist is a good start. But of course, if you start having huge resistance regarding her "bodywork" shit so much so that you can't have a good relationship, then it would be futile.
ReplyDeleteKeep us posted, lovely.
Those are the GOOD studies! (And I am sure you are entirely correct. We'll see about all the woo-woo nonsense. But! Fewer drugs, less WOE! That's all I want.) I feel like I need to talk to someone about Therapist 1, about whom I wonder, does she have anything useful re:parenting that I haven't already tried? She seems... vague. Aieeeee.
DeleteMy husband is a certified massage therapist and craniosacral therapist after being a mechanical engineer for 15 years.
ReplyDeleteHe has worked on me, and on other individuals and has had some truly therapeutic and emotionally healing experiences.
If you want to learn a little more, you can read my husband's blog.
http://touchofexcellence.wordpress.com/
Talk therapy has had only limited value for me. We can talk and talk and talk. Fill out some worksheets. Get some ideas. And I can go home and still have the same problems. I didn't start feeling progress until I added body work in.
Talking doesn't always mean we actually process our stuff. Most especially if there is any trauma involved.
http://drkathleenyoung.wordpress.com/2011/06/09/talking-vs-processing-in-trauma-therapy/
I think lots of time can be wasted on the whys and wherefores we GOT to this place. And still not get relief.
Bodywork is actually a more direct approach. I believe it reaches places in us that talking about them can't.
Even if you don't go to an actual massage therapist/bodywork specialist, yoga works really well. You can get classes relatively cheaply or do them at home with dvds. I prefer to take classes because he can see if my positioning is off.
Something else to consider:
ReplyDeletehttp://beyondmeds.com/
There's a LOT of information there. She's not "anti-med" but, "pro-choice"
http://beyondmeds.com/personal-journey/
I really appreciate all the information and alternative strategies to mental health she's researched and lived through.
Read this just now and thought of you: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/06/difficult-toddlers-parents-group-training_n_4221627.html?utm_hp_ref=health-news&ir=Health+News
ReplyDeleteHave you seen it? Perhaps a class for YOU about how to deal?
Seems logical. Perhaps if there is not a class available, there may be some books?