Monday, August 26, 2013

Siblings

Let me start by saying that I have pretty much read all the helpful books ever about sibling rivalry.  They all make the assumption that your children are all old enough to talk in coherent and semi-abstract sentences, and are not tiny damage-prone wee toddlers.  In other words, they're useless when one of the kids is under three.

Last week I left Bug and Tatoe sitting happily on the floor in my bedroom.  I walked into the bathroom - all of ten feet away - to brush my teeth.  Before I even started, Tatoe was shrieking in pain because Bug, annoyed at something, whacked his giant head into Tatoe. Tatoe was bleeding and crying, and Bug was saying "But he _______ me!"  (Or my favorite: "But I WANTED it!")

So let's face facts: no amount of positive cheerful redirecting focused parenting is going to prevent children from doing stupid shit and getting punished consequences.  And especially, when the size and strength differential is so large, the little one gets it a lot more.

Preschool cannot start SOON ENOUGH.

(Preschool starts in a week and a half.)

11 comments:

  1. It was an ACCIDENT! (where "it" was a fist to the top of the head) was my favorite older sibling excuse among my babysitting charges, back in the day.

    Summers come and summers go. Soon it will be preschool. Our words to that effect.

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    1. Summers come and summers go, but the insanity of toddlers lives on eternally, amen.

      Bug has not yet claimed it was an accident. He does flat-out lie though!

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  2. I enjoy when, upon delivering a particularly brutal skull-to-my-nose blow, my toddler says, "but I didn't do anything!" What's with them?!

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    1. Tiny, not-yet-socialized crazy people. It's like we have to impart socially acceptable behavior to them or something.

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  3. during the biting phase we once went in for a routine checkup where upon removing one guys shirt the dr saw teeth/bite marks all over the other guys back. thankfully she didnt make a big deal of it (must have been obvious it at least wasnt inflicted by the parents
    because there is only so much watching closely you can do with two kids who have no concept of the fact they shouldn't hurt eachother.

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    1. There is *completely* only so much watching closely you can do. I think I'd feel better if they were the same age. Glad your doctor is a sane human... because KIDS.

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  4. Ouch. Hope the 1.5 weeks pass without major accidents.
    I remember the opposite, though at a later age -- it took my youngest brother a while to understand how strong he actually was, so his fighting back really hurt, because he used all his strength. We were all older and had (mostly) understood to be more gentle with the little one. Maybe that's where Bug is now -- does he understand that he's actually hurting Tatoe? (See, I have no idea when they figure these things out)

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    1. Pretty sure the shrieking "OW! OW!!!" should clue him in. Whether he has any social understanding of others' feelings - though he's pretty empathetic with kids his own age - is another question.

      Only eight more days!!!

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  5. We get a lot of "Oh, he just fell" from the 3 year old when I hear shrieking from little brother. Or the glassy eyed "I dunno" when asked "what happened to L?" or, the "I wanted to" for "why did you do that?". Mine are apart 8 hours a day, yet still manage to squeeze in their shenanigans in the morning and evening hours. There really ISN'T much you can do when one kid is barely verbal.

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  6. I used to want them in the same room so they'd be easier to keep an eye on, and now I want them as far apart as possible.

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