- Child wears stupid amber necklace to mystically help with teething.
- Person who categorically hates dogs.
- Child is named something ridiculous and totally made-up or ethnically inappropriate; e.g. the child named "Rylanta" I once met. Or Trygve. Just. Don't; this is neither Norway, nor a commercial for intestinal disorders.
- Loathes the South in all its incarnations.
Of course, this is all completely theoretical, since I don't have any friends here, anyways.
****
On a similar but related note, Bug has been out of his fucking mind since we got to Mountain Town. Every time we walk in the door to our new place, it takes less than five minutes for the screaming hitting tantrums to start again. I'm sure it will get better, but I'm seriously considering locking myself in the closet with a bottle of wine.
And on that note, some good things:
1) There is a winery in this state that sells quite affordable, amusingly-named wine.
2) Perhaps my latest allergic-ish reaction was not to wine, but instead to... I have no idea.
3) At the Walmart Grocery today (open 24 hours! I needed more rice milk, and a garment rack, because the closet rack collapsed) Tatoe was sitting in the cart with scraped-up knees and a bottle of wine, and I had an amusing conversation with two other women about just how many glasses of wine we all felt we needed at the end of the day. One of them had six children; I suggested an entire bottle. The other one had two, but said she'd take the whole bottle if offered.
4) The local botanic-ish gardens feature a large children's play area with its own hose and bucket and collection of water-holding instruments. (Next time, I need to put swimsuits on, though.)
Have you read this list? Some pretty good baby names it in...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.wesclark.com/ubn/faves.html
OH MY GOD.
DeleteHad to read bullet 1 and 3 to my husband who loudly burst out in laughs. Yes and yes! Those things also annoy us.
ReplyDeleteAnd well they should, as you are clearly clever, right-thinking people!
DeleteOh, poor Bug. I'm sure he also wishes to go back to his old house and never leave. Understanding his reasoning isn't much comfort for you, of course. I have often locked myself in my bedroom, and put in earplugs, when I needed a little time away from the screaming. Or, plugged child into TV for a while. I hope he adjusts to the change soon. And if not... Preschool starts soon, right?
ReplyDeleteYou know, we had a nice mild winter this past year. It didn't get any colder than -10 degrees F. The 70 inches of snow during the winter was a little much, I got tired of shoveling and was running out of space to pile the snow. That last storm in March I didn't bother shoveling, it melted in a few days. The mid-May frost was tough though, I had to replace a few plants.
The cold sounds more appealing when it's 90 degrees and 90% humidity, I gotta tell you.
DeleteTatoe and I have been locking ourselves in the bedroom! Preschool starts after Labor Day. NOT SOON ENOUGH.
I knew eventually I'd get knocked off the list. I categorically hate dogs. YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. Okay, I accept that an individual dog can be acceptable, but they're all doggy in the end. And maybe dislike is more accurate. But I'm a dog bigot.
ReplyDeleteCan you make an exception? Maybe for internet friends?
You sound more indifferent to dogs. I'm talking about people who never met a dog they wouldn't kick, given the chance. I'm okay with indifferent! Besides, previous friends get a blanket pass (except for amber necklaces and vaccinations).
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