Thursday, March 07, 2013

Doctor Doctor

I am finally switching to a different primary care provider. In fact, I am switching to the MD who sees my tots - in four years, he's never done anything awful, so hey!  And then someone who's a lady for my lady parts, because I just can't.  I like the guy, I like how he takes care of my kids, and I want to keep my pants on. 

But anyhow.  I'm surely a total pain in the tuchus when it comes to doctors.

I want someone who's as smart as me, and who doesn't commit cardinal sins of biology.  So when I express concern about a side effect, or say that a registry is too small to detect more than a 5% effect, I want them to understand that.  And for example, a MD once told my spouse that T cells secrete antibodies to the bloodstream, which does NOT inspire confidence.  (They don't.  And I paraphrase good ol' Bruce: "Antibodies are synthesized exclusively by B cells.") 

I want someone who will consider my well-researched preferences carefully, and not treat me like an idiot.  I'm not expressing a concern about antibiotic resistance* because I read something on Yahoo News, I'm telling you I just read twenty articles about clearance time for Streptococcus.  And, while I realize doctors do deal with a lot of people who think homeopathy is effective and vaccines cause autism, I am not one of those people.

And I don't want my doctor to be one of those people

And finally, I want a doctor who won't just do what I want.  My diagnostic expertise is limited to: migraine, sinus infection, sprained ankle, asthma exacerbation.  (That is, these are the things I can reliably diagnose in myself.) Everything else, I want them to listen to me, and then diagnose and prescribe their own damn selves.  I can't tell you how many doctors have asked me what drug I wanted, just to get rid of me. 

* And in fact I was correct: 11 weeks of drug-resistant sinus infection and counting.  Yep, told you so.

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