Dear Readers: I like my shul a lot. It's friendly, liberal, thoughtful, and well-organized. There is lots of stuff for little kids. But! As we approach My Least Favorite Times of Year, i.e. the High Holidays, I'm inspired to complain.
1) Paying for high holiday seats. Yes, religious organizations struggle. At synagogues, as at many churches, 50 people might show up on Saturday, but almost everyone comes for the High Holidays (or Easter). This is their chance to extort... I mean, encourage... financial assistance. But: most important holiday of the year! I shouldn't have to beg for a monetary break (roughly $60 per seat per day, for three days of holidays, two adults and a child), just so I can be allowed to come stand in shul for most of a few days, which....
2) ... are largely filled with people who, for one reason or another, either don't want to be there (kids) or don't really know what's going on (people who only come for High Holidays). The remainder is people who don't know the tunes (me), because it's all done in Special High Holiday Nobody Sing Along Melody.
3) Also last year I spent the entire time in the basement, at the kids' service, with Bug. "The entire time" being a couple hours. Religion with small children: the express version.
4) Plus! Fasting! Except I'm still nursing. I know I can't not drink anything. I'm not sure I can not eat anything without fainting.
5) Most of the members are in fact quite well off and a few hundred here or there is nothing.
6) A few hundred here or there is, in this case, my entire grocery budget for two months.
Clearly I should save my kvetching about the membership for another day. So! More to come!
1. (If it matters to you), some Orthodox rabbis in Israel rule that it is permitted (or even required) for nursing mothers to eat and drink on yom kippur (http://www.amotherinisrael.com/a-radical-ruling-breastfeeding-and-fasting-on-yk/).
ReplyDelete2. I hear you on the high holiday tickets...I don't even spend that much on groceries (postdoc salary + expensive area + travel before the chagim = ugh). I'd rather give the same amount of money to a soup kitchen or something.
Yael- thanks, I know it's permitted (I used to be Orthodox too!) but I always have this internal struggle... *can* I go without eating? Should I? I don't know. I could. I'm sure I'd regret it and feel extremely ill and spend most of the day in bed. I surely have to drink water though. Last year I was 36 weeks pregnant, i.e. HA HA NO WAY.
DeleteThe churches around here are built with very wide aisles. That way, when people show up for Christmas and Easter, they can sit in the folding chairs in the aisles. We're not even Christmas and Easter churchgoers though, so it doesn't affect us.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if we are ever forced to go with my parents, I have to spend my entire time in the nursery anyway - for 2 reasons. 1) nobody there can really communicate with the J-man, and 2) that way I don't have to listen to the sermon.
Sermons! My second-least-favorite part of High Holidays!
Deleteomg. mine too. i picked a minyan that only has a 5 min sermon.
DeletePaying for seats?! That just strikes me as nuts and discouraging of attendance. Also, shouldn't you get a discount if you go most weeks?
ReplyDeleteAt the churches I've attended, I guess the comparable move would be the passing of the offering plate an extra time and moving the donation box to a more prominent position.(All of which was extremely embarrassing when I was a grad student and could barely afford my paltry offering. It's always awkward when there's no pause when you pass the plate.)
This is entirely standard at most synagogues. I'd say 90% of the congregation only shows up for High Holidays. And, while the average income is high, I'm still trying to decide if I can AFFORD $200 in dues or not. Yeah. Favorite time of year.
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