My annoyance relating to Tater's birth is getting worse. So I shall share it with you! My memories are a little fuzzy on account of in labor and not sleeping for a week- now with bonus jackhammer!- but I'm still pissed at:
1) The nurse and my already-least-favorite midwife having a spat in front of me. A little professionalism? Anyone? Anyone.
2) After the birth, the nurse wouldn't take my IV out. In fact, she turned the Pitocin way the hell up. I asked five times, and Dr. S asked twice, and she didn't. There was no medical indication (although, to be fair, the postpartum bleeding was greatly reduced). I'm still pissed.
2a) And the midwife totally abandoned me.
3) At my follow-up appointment I got a new, wet-ink-on-license midwife. Maybe 25. Unmarried, no kids. So condescending. Did I know that I should get 30 minutes of exercise a day? And then maybe I would lose weight? Of course! I had NO IDEA! All I needed was someone to tell me that! The two small children currently a) wrecking the exam room and b) screaming on the floor- have nothing to do with it. THANKS!!
She also needs to look up what NORMAL and COMMON mean, and write a 500-word summary.
On a scale of 1 to Horrific, I know these are really minor. But you know what? I STILL DON'T LIKE IT. It's my blog and I'll whine if I want to.
And I was really fortunate for Bug's birth to be at a birth center with wonderful midwives, because they did not do a single solitary thing to which I objected. I objected quite strongly to the TERROR, and the asshole ER doc, but that was hardly the midwives' fault.
Okay, I feel better now.
Reminds me of my first pregnancy. I gained a lot of weight early, like 30 pounds by the end of the 2nd trimester. My midwife was trying to tell me I needed to exercise more. And I said, well I do yoga and I ride my bike to work. "You do what??" "You have to stop riding your bike immediately!"
ReplyDeleteHa. So then I totally stopped exercising.
Went back and read labor story, yikes! I completely agree with you on points 1) and 3), but I understand their motivation for point 2). If someone needs pitocin for their birth, they HAVE TO empty the bag into you after the labor is done. As someone who needed pitocin both times and still had a major bleeding episode after baby #2, it's not something you want to experience. The extra pitocin doesn't hurt you, even if you're sick of having an IV in. Though, it sucks about 2)a, and I can understand feeling pissed about that. I was actually really happy with my midwives, after asshole docs w/ baby #1. Oh, and drugs totally rock w/ a long labor. My second one was natural and "quick", but still, that hurts!
ReplyDeleteWell, good to know. Now I'm just annoyed that the nurse didn't bother to tell me that!!
DeleteI was totally all 'screw this, give me drugs nnnnooooooowww'.
The nurse definitely should have told you!
DeleteWhen my older son was 5 months old, still nursing every 2 hours at night because he didn't really eat from the bottles of pumped milk during they day, and cluster nursing at least every 45 minutes from the time I got home at night, and I had lost 25 lbs just from nursing (but was still officially obese)... someone told me I JUST WASN'T TRYING HARD ENOUGH to get in some exercise. That I should get up earlier than the 5:30 I already got up at to be able to 1) shower and dress, 2) nurse son, 3) pump other side WHILE eating breakfast and putting on eyeliner and mascara, and 4) leave the house at 6:30 so I could make it to work by 7.
ReplyDeleteYeah. Falling asleep at stoplights wasn't dangerous enough.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. A friend's sister just posted this, and I thought it was highly appropriate here:
http://www.xojane.com/relationships/birth-shaming-new-slut-shaming
HAH! Some people are real jerks.
DeleteThe link you posted was interesting. I was recently reminded to be less judgey, after talking to my dear friend R (semi-elective C-section followed by horrible recovery)- even from her, I hadn't heard the whole story at first, and only two years later did I get all the details, and yes, a C-section was the best choice.
Although. Her doctor said, at the time "Oh, your pelvis is just TOO NARROW and you can never have a vaginal birth now" and personally, I think the pre-eclampsia, pain, narcotics, magnesium, terror, and inability to move around MIGHT have also had something to do with the whole failure-to-progress. However, it was an entirely moot point at the time anyways.
Yes to common vs. normal. (Yes to all of it, but that part resonates, shall we say, most with me.) When I am queen of the world and get to force everyone into specialized remedial language classes, that's going to be the theme of the one for medical folks. Also, common vs. universal.
ReplyDeleteI've been giving myself pep talks for the past week about how now that it's been a year, maybe I will go find a different doctor and ask how much of what's still going on is, in fact, normal. (Dr. Russian assured (read: yelled at) me that everything was normal because I'd had a vaginal birth. Neat trick.)
I'm sorry you're left with this crap too. Lord knows I can sympathize. Wish you could come have some tea (or gin) and let Bug teach the Bean to tear more things apart while we bitch about it all.
That would be great, though I fear Bean would learn all kinds of age-inappropriate destructive skills. Alas, 1200 miles away.
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