Tuesday, February 07, 2012

FMB: In Which I Am Annoyed About Preschool

Dear Mothers I Know,


No, Bug is not going to preschool this fall, for several excellent reasons:

1) I can both read and do math.  I can, in fact, teach him these things myself, FOR FREE. 

2) We have a Montessori philosophy!  He has his own mop and apron, and I require his child labor at home. 

3) We can either spend $4000 a year (11% of our total gross income, thank you for asking, I BET IT'S A LOT LESS OF YOURS) on preschool, or put it in a college fund.  College or preschool: which one is more USEFUL???

4) Contrary to your insane opinions, your child's entire future is NOT determined at age three.
4a) In fact, hearing you all complain about the other aggressive, mean, bitey little snowflakes: why would I want to do this?

5) He can learn to stand in line and follow orders later.  I do not think these are essential life skills for a toddler.

Sincerely Yours,

Annoyed Mother Who Made Actual Financial Sacrifices To Stay Home, Unlike Your Dilemmas Over Stainless Steel Appliances

12 comments:

  1. Yes yes yes and yes.

    May I add to #1 -- if you went through 12 years of public school and don't feel like you can teach your young child basic things like preschool or elementary math.... why would you want them to go into that same system?

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  2. Oooo, I am totally stealing the line "I require [her] child labor at home." Perfect.

    I'm sure I will be in a similar state of mind in a few years, but at the moment I can feel some sympathy for people who buy into these crazy beliefs about the importance of this or that early developmental whatsit. It might be easier for hypereducated people like us to shut out that noise, but BOY is there a lot of it. Seems like everywhere I turn someone is telling me something is ESSENTIAL...sigh.

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  3. but what of the immune system work inherently a part of daycare/preschool/any scrum of small, sticky children? WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE MICROBES?

    i have no idea what we will do at the point you describe, as we certainly can't afford any school around here that doesn't make me feel distinctly queasy. probably keep him home, i guess, though i really want to send him to starhillgirl's school instead. lucky we live 300 miles away.

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    Replies
    1. For that, we have our plague-ridden tot friends, some of whom ARE in preschool. All the plague, none of the cost.

      I want to send him to my hippie co-op preschool but it is A) in North Carolina and B) probably closed.

      NO, WAIT! It's still open! Sigh.

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  4. Where did you find a child-sized mop? My kids love to mop (and I hate it) but ours is just too big... I also wish there were working child-sized vacuums. Stupid toy vacuums that make noise but don't clean anything *grr*

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    1. Nicole: It's a Swiffer (side-of-road) but I didn't pull the extend-y pole out. It's just about 3-year-old sized!

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    2. Also one of my friends gives hers the Dust Buster. I keep looking at garage sales for one, but no luck yet.

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  5. What a riot! Nice post, but even better comments. The MICROBES! Ya'll kwak me up.

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  6. I think it depends so much on the family and child, what is best for them. My daughter is going to preschool twice a week starting in summer for the following reasons: 1.) I find that she learns more from other children and outside the home environment. 2.) She is happiest during her once a week mom&me preschool time that we are currently doing and has already learned so much (letters, numbers, painting, manners) there. 3.) Preschool here is very affordable ($100 per month for twice a week attendance).
    Everybody is so different. Some kids really need the preschool experience, others do not. The best we can do is know our children well enough to try to figure out what they need, I guess.

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    Replies
    1. What I'm trying to say is that just because we are well educated does not necessarily mean we are good teachers. Teaching is a skill in its own right, and if a parent has it to a similar extent as school teachers, then they are right to homeschool. I am not a good teacher - I lack the patience, creativity, and motivation for it. I envy the parents that have this talent on top of their other skills.

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    2. Don't get me wrong: I'm all in favor of preschool. I'm just annoyed with the people around here (and in NY, and etc.) who think your child's life will be RUINED AND DOOMFUL if they don't go to the perfect preschool now. And we can't afford it, and we don't qualify for any assistance, and so we're making do, and I'm tired of people here (not you!) giving me grief about the RUIN AND DOOM. I loved my preschool. I would send Bug there in a heartbeat were it not a) expensive and b) 850 miles away.

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    3. Wow, ruin and doom for a child due of not going to preschool, that is just really funny. People who think that are ridiculous. I wish everyone would realize there is no one size fits all recipe for successful and happy children.

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