Why?

I still keep in touch with a couple friends from high school, including my slowly-cooling relationship with C, who you may remember.  C is expecting her third child; her spouse is still in grad school (he STILL!!!! has not finished those papers!) and they are still all four-and-a-fetus living on a humanities grad student's salary, roughly $25,000, in Big East Coast City.   

I called her this week, because I wanted to offer to make something for this child.  I did for the other two, after all.  I asked C if she needed anything, or wanted a less worn/ugly exemplar of something.  And she said "Oh... I think some crib sheets would be good, but knit ones because the other kind are kind of cold on their skin, and not flannel because I wouldn't want to use them in winter and I don't have enough storage space, and red, but not too red, or maybe green, but not kelly green or forest green.  Perhaps polka dots, but only if they match the red valence that I have, and the ruffle has ladybugs on it but I don't want to do ladybugs* if it's a boy** and... " then I tuned it out.

All I could think was what. the. !@$%****


* WHY NOT? They're so CUTE!!
** Because clearly then he would grow up to be gay.***  Or something.
*** Bug has an eyelet lace dust ruffle on his crib, which I made.  It's cute.  He doesn't care.  If he wants lacy pillowcases when he's 15, I'll make them too.  Or cars.  Or bugs.  Or unicorns.  I don't care.
**** After our wedding I wrote a whole series of mendacious thank-you notes for things I returned ("Thank you for the hideous green sheets and well-meant but completely useless tool set;, we already have four hammers." [Not really; I wrote "Thank you for your thoughtful gift" etc.])  because I was taught that one should be GRACIOUS.