Dear Universe,
Kindly direct your programmers to add the following features to:
1) Facebook: Ability to filter out everything my sister types that involves the words "Israel", "Holy Land", or "American Jews".
2) Phone: Ability to tune out and hear bad elevator music when talking to my sister (see above) yet still be presented with a choice of appropriate replies ("Really?", "Oh", "I see").
3) Life: Ability to not be annoyed by sister's a) constant, unquestioning, blind devotion to Israel's divine right to do whatever it wants, regardless of legality, morality, or international treaty; b) belief that anyone who questions Israel hates Jews and therefore wants her babies to die in terrorist attacks; c) perpetual view that all my problems in life would be ALL BETTER if only I would move to Israel. Because nothing is ever wrong there! And America sucks! (Literally: Over my dead body.)
Seriously, sometimes... actually, every time I talk to her, I want to never talk to her again.
i've been thinking about this for almost 30 seconds, and i've concluded that your best option is a counter-attack: join (or make her believe you have joined, anyway) jews for jesus.
ReplyDeletestep 2: record conversations
step 3: profit.
It's definitely a thought, but it might upset my mother.
ReplyDelete