!

I had many romantic, unrealistic notions before I had a baby!

He'll sleep with us!!
For a month, until the thrashing and snorfling and kicking got to be too much. And into the crib with you!

It'll be so hard to go back to work!
Except he screamed for two weeks straight, right before. And I WANTED to pay someone else to take him.

I'll breastfeed him as long as he wants!
Getting old already. Plus I am really damn hungry all the time. Plus he wants my food now, so I never get enough dinner because he's eating it.

I'll wait to give him table food until he can feed himself finger food.
Hah. Try: he'll be so crabby that we will give him applesauce in desperation. Then he will be so ravenous that we will beg him to please, please, eat one more bite of avocado. Then we will worry he will make himself ill from eating so much avocado. Then we will be chicken-pushers. EAT! MORE!! CHICKENS!!!