Or: Confidentials To The Neighbors
***
Dear Neighbor,
Next time you sit outside my apartment honking at 2 AM, I am calling the police.
Sincerely yours,
Really Wondering If It's A Drug Deal
***
Dear Neighbor,
Hacking up a lung while smoking: means get a clue.
Sincerely yours,
Really Wondering About Your Logic Skills
***
Dear Neighbor,
Are your super-Caucasian children really named 'Asia' and 'Buddha'? I mean, really?
Sincerely yours,
Really Wondering If They're Named For The Chinese Restaurant
Across The Street
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Dear Neighbor Who Calls Her Cat Every Night At 10 PM:
IT'S A CAT.
