One of Dr. S's colleagues knows someone who works at the journal which advertised the perfect job. Apparently, although the ad did not specify any bizarre software and therefore did not appear to be a sham, they already know who they want to hire. Bah.
I just interviewed at Big Tech Company. They appear to rely heavily on written tests, consisting mainly of grammatical corrections and logic puzzles. I am not entirely sure what I think of this, especially given that Dr. S's colleagues also know people who work at Big Tech, and largely think they've been brainwashed into working ludicrous hours. Thanks, better brainwashers than you already tried, and it didn't take.