Thursday, July 17, 2008

I hate moving.

The latest Scientiae theme, is appropriately enough, 'transitions.' What, like moving? Oh, can I ever blather on about moving.

I've lived in thirteen different places since I went off to college. Somewhere along the way, I developed a terrible anticipatory dread; I associate moving with being lonely and confused, so hey, rev up the anxiety in advance! Speaking of, we finally found an apartment I don't hate, which is all of a) on the bus line; b) reasonably priced; c) tolerant of cats; d) not hideous and e) willing to offer a 6-month lease, this last because we have an elaborate plan in which house-purchasing depends on fellowship getting because of funding hell.

Anyhow. We're supposed to move in six weeks. I still don't know if I get to leave for real, because my experiments aren't so much done, but I will be definitively apartmentless in six weeks. I am filled with dread, which is strange, because I really really REALLY want to leave. Some part of my bear brain is convinced I will NEVER EVER LEAVE. Suddenly, the European 'You've been here X years and now you're leaving BYE' thing looks a lot better.

I always worry about the unknown, but this is getting a little ridiculous. I don't even have time to worry I'll be lonely! Too worried about lab!

P.S. What could I do differently to deal better? SLEEP THROUGH THE DAMN NIGHT. Except I can't.