Seminar Titles We Never See

"Shit We Tried That Didn't Work, Sometimes Repeatedly."
-Dr. Jekyll

"Things Do Things To Other Things."
-My dad's version of every slide title

"Things Do Things."
-Our joke about bad seminars

"I Don't Believe It Either, But It Got Me a Nature Paper."

"Spot the Faked Figure!"

"Unpublished Results That Contradict Our Hypothesis."

"Nou Viff Acksents aaand Typografffikal Erorrs."

"Incomprehensible Verbose Pretentious Old Guy Science: Fall Asleep Now."

"Using the Same Obsolete Technique Since 1983!" (corollary)

"Towards a Model of Bad Job Talks: Crystallography Strikes Back."