Inappropriate comparisons:
Advisor at journal club: 'Okay, so if I'm a sperm and the tail's coming out of my head...'
Thoughts of being in the wrong profession:
Me: 'The plastic thing with a bunch of spokes in it, looks like a starfish, about six inches across.'
Tech Support: 'Oh, yes. I have that part number for you: 6383-100.'
Me: And how much does it cost?
TS: '$1345.'
Me: 'For a piece of plastic????'
TS: 'Or $2625 with the screws.'
Me: [Beating head on desk] Are you taking job applications?
High-tech solutions:
Grad student from other lab: 'My tube imploded.'
Me: 'It's the vise grips for you, dearie.'
[An hour later]
GSFOL: 'Er, and how would I get the pellet out of the tube now?
Me: 'Well, I'd wrap it in foil and hit it with a hammer.'
GSFOL: [Gives me incredulous look.]
Me: 'Hard. Hit it hard.'
Finis.
