Crime in SnootyTown is on the rise. Rather a lot. (Alas.) The economy, the increasing poverty rate, the phase of the moon: who knows. But my bed is practically the only place I AM safe any more. Muggings, especially, are growing ever more audacious. Consider the following true incidents:
- Bike stolen in broad daylight, Saturday 3pm, from a busy street. Suspicious-looking African-American youth* slinks up, looks around, rides off. Passers-by are stunned into silence.
- Every car window on a main street smashed in. Side mirrors stolen. Someone's tape collection pawed through and abandoned. Tires slashed for good measure.
- Person on bike is mugged. Thrown to ground; muggers take bike and wallet and ride off.
- Thieves break into an apartment at midday. Take all electronics, $6.38 in change. Find car keys. Load electronics into car and drive away. Victim: officer of student Senate.
- Former Army member is mugged in driveway. Looks at gun and says 'That's not a real gun!' (Sadly, no Crocodile Dundee line follows.) Mugger runs off.
- Large, noisy party mugged on front lawn. Give mugger what they have. Mugger threatens persons; ex-Marine attacks mugger, is shot. (Recovers.)
- Car vanishes in the night. Found three weeks later, two states away, with 10,000 extra miles on it, acupuncture needles, and a baseball bat
- Person waiting for escort shuttle, outside main building with security guard inside, and 20 feet from emergency phone, is mugged. Guard doesn't notice.
- Person gets off the escort shuttle 50 feet from own front door. Mugged.
*As in: dingy, wearing hooded sweatshirt, looking about with a furtive air. Me: 'Oh, I'm racially profiling, I mustn't... hey! He just stole that bike!'
