Tuesday, February 13, 2007

In Which I Am Unusually Mouthy (Even For Me)

Setting: Meeting with the Hey Grad Students, Defend Already, What's Wrong With You (Or Possibly Us) Academic Taskforce

Me: And in the last five years, the sum total of guidelines I received from the department consisted of one page about quals.

Program Director: Really????

20 students, in chorus: YES!

Student in back: What? There were quals guidelines?

Ambitious Junior Prof: Well, if you don't have your committee meetings, the Program Director won't approve your registration. And then you won't get paid! Hah!

Ilya: I have not had committee meeting in four years and I graduate in December.

AJP: But... but...

Program Director: And only... let's see... half of you had committee meetings last year!

Rebecca: Or... half turned in the form with the signatures.

Alan: Wait, we have to turn in a form??

Program Director: Yes! It's in the handbook!!!

Rebecca: We have a handbook?

Program Director: [puts head in hands and weeps]