Setting: Meeting with the Hey Grad Students, Defend Already, What's Wrong With You (Or Possibly Us) Academic Taskforce
Me: And in the last five years, the sum total of guidelines I received from the department consisted of one page about quals.
Program Director: Really????
20 students, in chorus: YES!
Student in back: What? There were quals guidelines?
***
Ambitious Junior Prof: Well, if you don't have your committee meetings, the Program Director won't approve your registration. And then you won't get paid! Hah!
Ilya: I have not had committee meeting in four years and I graduate in December.
AJP: But... but...
***
Program Director: And only... let's see... half of you had committee meetings last year!
Rebecca: Or... half turned in the form with the signatures.
Alan: Wait, we have to turn in a form??
Program Director: Yes! It's in the handbook!!!
Rebecca: We have a handbook?
Program Director: [puts head in hands and weeps]
