The middle kid now happily owns multiple unicorn shirts and continues to happily wear them and not care what anyone else thinks.
(Please remember that this conversation happened with a nine year old.)
A while after the original unicorn shirt, we were taking a walk together and I attempted to raise the issue of gender identities with him. "Buddy," I said, "you know how you really like unicorn shirts? Sometimes kids feel like they don't fit in with how everyone else thinks they are. Like some people have boy parts on the outside but they know in their heart that they're a girl, or that they're a girl and a boy together, or they're not really either...."
"MOM!" he interrupted me. "I'm a BOY. I just like unicorns."
I'm sure we'll have this conversation again, in case anything changes, but.... okay then. Very firm identity. Really likes unicorns.
This is my son also :)
ReplyDeleteIt's good to have these conversations so kids can be accepting of others, even if they align with their assigned-at-birth gender. Friends from church recently had their kindergarten-aged child announce they were trans. So in that case, the child knew earlier than age 9.
ReplyDeleteFair! I hope he maintains an open mind.
Delete(My kid, not the trans kid.)
DeleteYay for healthy conversations! I had the conversation with JB last year because their former auntie had begun transitioning and they really didn't have any questions. It just made sense to them and I'm glad but I assume they'll have more questions as they get older and start thinking about these things a bit more in-depth.
ReplyDeleteLittleBear (aged about 8) informed me that thinks he's more of a girl inside, but doesn't want to tell everyone. He was cool with that, and I told him it was nice trusted him to tell him that when he wasn't happy to tell everyone. Sometimes I have hope for the future when kids can be so open-minded and relaxed. And unicorns are cool, no matter what gender you do or don't identify with.
ReplyDeleteEspecially unicorns with glitter horns!
DeleteI hope that kids will continue being pretty accepting of, people come in lots of flavors, it's all cool.
I realise I used angled brackets in my comment, which is thus somewhat mangled. SmallFriend told LittleBear that he felt more of a girl inside. And I affirmed that it was good that SmallFriend trusted LittleBear. There are still a disappointing number of "you can't play with that/wear that/do that because you're the wrong gender" attitudes around. But hopefully, maybe, less than there used to be.
DeleteI am pretty sure there is less of that than when we were kids, lo these many years ago. Other kids do say those things to Middle Kid but he just does not care even a little, which is probably just how he came from the factory.
DeleteHave you checked out the gender unicorn (https://transstudent.org/gender/)? I found it very helpful for organizing my understanding and adding context when talking with adults.
ReplyDeleteHah, that's great! Thanks.
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