Embracing Woo; Also, Cows

The Pumpkin, it turns out, has a bad latch. Terrible. Also a tongue tie. Why didn't I notice sooner? Because he gained seven pounds in eight weeks. This does not scream 'breastfeeding problems', and it took this long to finally exceed my pain tolerance. Note to self: clicking noises BAD.

On Monday I shall hie me to a lactation consultant. The midwives also recommend seeing a 'cranio-sacral therapist' (for the baby). They realign your woo.... I mean, your vertebrae and cerebrospinal fluid. (Snort.) But hey, it won't hurt anything and it might help. I feel the same way about chiropractors: the theory is nonsense, but the practice is a cross between physical therapy and massage. Besides, the woo that a chiropractor realigned in my hips took care of the horrible awful round ligament pain of pregnancy. After which her theories were irrelevant.

On a similar milk-related note, my mother sent me these:


Mooooooo.

Now I Feel Really Smart

My degree, I am officially informed, was officially conferred yesterday. Or something. Thesifying: the process by which six years of work becomes completely meaningless to you.

But that's not why I feel smart. That would be because Squeaky is going through the Screamy For No Reason phase. Tonight: happy baby until about 10. Then screaming. Not hungry. Not dirty. Still not hungry. Does not want: finger to suck on, to be rocked, to be sung to, to be put down, to be held. Still screaming.

Finally, I swaddled him tightly, turned him upside down, and rocked him. Exactly one minute later he stopped screaming. I offered milk. Suck suck suck... asleep.

In my defense, the last time I tried that trick, he screamed his little head off for about 15 minutes, at which point I surrendered and poured myself some bourbon.

Next Time

When, God willing, we have another baby in a couple years... I'm quitting my job and staying home. (Pending, of course, that this doesn't result in bankruptcy.)

I thought this was impossible. No way, I said, will I have a baby and suddenly want to stay home full-time with my nonverbal infant. Ha, ha, ha. Look back and laugh. Silly, silly me. WRONG!!!!

I have to go back to work (part-time for 3 months, could be worse) in 5 weeks. No, I don't have to work. But for me, I think it's best to work a little after getting my !@#$ PhD, to keep doors open for later. I want to work. And I don't want to. But I will.

My Baby Is Adorable

It's beginning to be more enjoyable than challenging. Also, he slept 4 hours at a stretch last night, and my wonderful youngest sister is visiting. She has performed heroic feats of baking and laundry, rocked the baby to sleep last night, and took him for two hours this afternoon while I went and had a cup of coffee all by myself.

Slghtly Better

New email: "Change the following three things and where is that thing in your methods?"

On the bright side, I think they have to be done bothering me by Monday.

If I kill someone I will totally claim the hormones made me do it.

Shoot Me Now

Email from committee member who had no comments of his own: "Your responses to Dr. Conflict Of Interest aren't good enough. You'll need to revise it again and write us a new letter. I'm meeting with your advisor today. You suck."