Favorite Sayings, Also, Delurk Yourselves!

One of my favorite Southern sayings: "I wouldn't spit on him if he was on fire."

(There is a less-polite version involving crossing the road, which one ought not repeat in polite company.)

So give me a New Year's gift: tell me your favorite regional phrase!  Or just who you are.

Cheers!!!!

Don't Know Much About Psychology

(I warn you in advance that I don't have much of a point here.)

I have a cousin who is now twenty.  His father is 65 (second marriage) and has single-parented him since he was two or three.  Now, I have NO qualifications in psych, but a five-year-old could diagnose this child with autism spectrum disorder.  (Or Asperger's.  Or whatever.)  To spare you the long list, I've put it at the bottom of the post.  He has... maybe two friends?  At all.  He creeped out my sister's very sweet, tolerant roommates until he was no longer welcome. 

He does all the classic behaviors: avoidance of eye contact, inability to respond to normal social cues, easily overstimulated, stereotypical arm flapping, gross and fine motor issues, poor muscle tone, severe social developmental delays.

My uncle's response?  "No!  He doesn't have autism/ Asperger's/ anything wrong!  He's just a little clumsy."  This would be fine, but the kid worships his father, and won't listen to anyone else.  We fear that he will never listen to anyone else on this problem; he's old enough to develop his own stubborn opinions.  Last year he was in college, the same one as my sister; he failed out. She tried to help: set up appointments with the special ed center, with tutors... he never went to any of them because 'he was doing okay.'


How do you help those who won't help themselves?

(Everyone in my family has a serious mad on about my uncle, too.)



Autism Spectrum Disorder

Must meet criteria A, B, C, and D: (edited by me to include my cousin's issues)

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction , all 3 of the following:

1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity; abnormal social approach and failure of normal conversation through reduced sharing of interests, emotions, and affect and response

2. Deficits in nonverbal communication; poorly integrated- verbal and nonverbal communication, abnormalities in eye contact and body-language, deficits in understanding and use of nonverbal communication, reduced facial expression and gestures.

3. Deficits in developing and maintaining relationships: difficulties adjusting behavior to suit different social contexts, difficulties in sharing imaginative play and in making friends, absence of interest in [most] people

B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, and activities

1. Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements (simple motor stereotypies, repetitive idiosyncratic phrases).

2. Ritualized patterns of verbal and nonverbal behavior

3. [Obsession with computer games to the exclusion of all else]

4. Hyper-reactivity to sensory input [difficulty with lots of noise or stimulation].

C. Symptoms must be present in early childhood [so very much]

D. Symptoms together limit and impair everyday functioning.

Five Minute Blogging: Holidays And Relatives (While I Ignore My Kids)

Leviticus 19:15: Do not pervert justice. Do not give special consideration to the poor nor show respect to the great. Judge your people fairly.

Last night we opened the in-laws 'Christmas' (HANUKKAH!!) presents, and a couple from us, despite well-founded theological and personal objections to the idea. Anyhow. We have one rule for toy gifts. It has two words: No batteries.

The in-laws sent Bug two toy gifts. With... right. I was annoyed. They just don't get it! I mean, FFS, they gave us Christmas ornaments as a wedding present. My MIL somehow is unable to comprehend that any dairy at all will make me violently, seriously ill. They expect us to conform to their every whim when we're all in the same place. They aren't trying hard enough!

Suddenly I heard a still, small voice whisper, "Judge one another favorably."

I'm willing to judge my friends and family (and spouse) favorably, with righteousness, because I love and respect them. But I should judge my in-laws as righteous people. They gave Bug those toys because they were imagining his delight. They gave us those ornaments because their own are cherished possessions. Perhaps that's the kind of relationship they had with their own parents.

They are trying.

(P.S. I'm pretty sure that was not the voice of God, but of my conscience.)

Placeholder, For Reflection later

* Went to a party full of scientists, with kids in tow. Only housewife there. Reactions from amusing to infuriating. ("What do you do?" "I study evolution." "...of WHAT? I edit all of Dr S's papers and grants.")

* Grad school in retrospect; working with my embittered ex for six years sure killed all the good memories from THAT relationship.  Also, my advisor seems saner after the fact.

* How much I look forward to a day when I don't feel I neef to pinch every penny until it screams.

*Toddler.  OMG toddler.

* Must watch Sesame Street with toddler now GAAAAH.

Little Parrot, Nursing

One day, I will have to explain to him that boys and girls can do most anything they set their minds too, but he'll find this particular one quite difficult.  But not now, because it's just so darn cute.

Forgotten

I had a great idea- in fact, I remember writing it in my head last night as I fell asleep- but I cannot remember a single word of it.  Instead, my brain is filled with possible causes for the persistent GODAWFUL ANNOYING itching on my left boob (you're welcome!), which has now lasted, actually, eight full months, AAAAAGH, and various diagrams of dryer innards, because ours doesn't, as of now, with a full load of wet diapers in the washer, thankyouverymuch. 

G'night.

Bug Phrase Of The... Month. Maybe Year.

Me: "Do you need to go potty?"
Bug: "No."
Me: "Are you having some gas?"
Bug: "No, I just had a burp from my tush."

Lab Report

I was reading about Miss MSE's lab-teaching joys and it reminded me of when I was TAing

Bear in mind that Snooty U, as an institution, doesn't care about the science TAs and generally ignores them.  There is no training, there are no standards, and mileage varies widely.  (The grad school has some opportunities for individuals, but it's caveat magister.  Or possibly caveat discipulus.)

So I TA'd for a lab course that was, apparently, organized by monkeys.  We were given the labs, but no syllabus, no guidelines, and no outline of the accompanying lecture.  (Possibly because the lab bore it no resemblance.)  This is going to sound really mean, but I took the opportunity to rigorously enforce Good Science Writing.  I wrote my students a syllabus with the following criteria:

1) Your first lab report will be marked and returned.  I will grade the second version. 
2) After the first lab report, you will lose a point for each spelling or grammatical error.
3) You can write as much as you want (in Times 12 point with one-inch margins), but I will stop reading after five pages. 
4) Plagiarism will get you a failing grade.

After the first batch of lab reports, which were, with two exceptions, truly appalling, I got nice, concise, five-page, well-organized reports.  After the second batch, which lost a lot of points for grammatical errors, they were much better-written.  And after a couple weeks of me writing the most appalling errors up on the board(without attribution; however, in genetics, "compliment" and "complement" are very different)... they started proofreading, too.

Low grades are an amazing motivational tool.