Sunday, December 20, 2009

In Which I Am Not Ready

Did I mention that the kid still can't do a real crawl? He looks like a stranded seal, or possibly a very angry eel, squirming along. However! He seems to be ready for bigger, better things.

This morning, the Pumpkin pulled himself up onto a folded pack-n-play, fell off, and thwacked his noggin.

This afternoon, the Pumpkin pulled himself up onto a trunk, stood up, and then WALKED ALONG THE TRUNK ALL BY HIMSELF.

This evening, the Pumpkin sat himself up from a crawling position. For the very first time ever.

Oh, gracious heavens, what next?

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Woman On The Edge

Today I was sick. Pumpkin was sicker. My boss said I should rest and get better. But HR said I have to use a vacation day. This leaves me with 1.5 vacation days (I only had 4 to start with... long story).

I was supposed to be done with something by tomorrow at 8 AM. Hah. Hah hah ha.

If we can't go visit the in-laws because of this... I may bite someone. Hard.

Counting down to this summer, when I will for sure leave my job (housewifery, here I come!), or the expiration date on my patience. Whichever comes first.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Maybe I'll Become A Housewife After All

I have, overall, a pretty good job. But.

This week was bad in so many different ways. It ended with two really cheering incidents:

1) I realized that I had been given an impossible, arbitrary, illogical, and useless deadline of next Friday, which I may well not make unless I fix bicycles until midnight every night (HAH!!).

2) In response to piteous pleas, I tried to volunteer for a translating project (on our bicycle-assembly manuals) only to be told by my boss that it would be fine, but would be 30 hours on top of the rest of my work. Thus proving that SOMEONE had forgotten the first rule of motivating people, being, 'What do I get out of this?' And they wonder why they can't find anyone.

And the Pumpkin is just sick all the time. It's a strain on all of us. We're all exhausted and hacking and the laundry is dirty and the dishes are all over the counter and I need to mail the in-laws' Christmas present yesterday and I haven't called anyone but my mom in three weeks.

I'm concerned that this situation is entirely unsustainable long-term. I am becoming a terribly negligent spouse, because all I really want by the end of the day is one hour where nobody, anywhere, wants anything from me.

Watch this space for a notice that I have suddenly stuffed all my work things in the Xerox box, returned my key card, and walked out the door.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Dear World: Your Support Leaves Many Things To Be Desired

The world, it turns out (who knew, eh?) is not supportive of breastfeeding. The Pumpkin goes to a quite excellent daycare. However, last week they suggested he needs formula. HE WEIGHS 22 POUNDS!!!! He's fine. I'll send more soy yogurt for food backup (he will actually eat most things until he horks, so the sad-hungry-baby noises are not such a good indication, people).

Also, work is forcing me to take my vacation time when I run out of sick leave (which happened about three months ago). We are not amused. Some days, I don't know how much longer I want to be working. Some days, I do know, and it's a very small number. Most days, I just feel incredibly conflicted that I cannot be all things to all people.

Every time the kid gets sick, it's an enormous strain. We both have to take off work. I usually have to leave in the middle of the day on no notice, because only one car. I have to cancel all my meetings and calls with people across the country; I have to reschedule them. He wakes up at 3 AM. We want to die. We are tired and cranky, and then we have to work on the weekends to make up for taking care of sick infant. Then we are more tired and cranky. It would be easier, in a lot of ways, to stay home, but I think (in this particular situation) that I would go insane.

Aaaaaaagh.